Tuesday, March 14, 2006

baaaaaaaad (fat) girl! 

So I've failed to keep everyone up to date on how the diet is going.


After that first initial burst of weight loss...the scale just sat there. Sometimes going up (eek!) then edging back down, but never going further down than that. After two weeks of no further loss, our instructor decided to move me to "phase 3." This is where you go to normal eating (2000 calories per day) for a few days, until you gain something like 3 pounds. This becomes your "upper limit," and you go back to phase 1 (1200 calories per day) for a few days, until you lose that 3 pounds again. Then BACK to 2000 calories until you gain them back, then back to phase 1 until you lose them. It should take longer and longer to gain back those pounds, until you can maintain the low weight on 2000 calories per day. Then, if you want, you can start the WHOLE process over again to lose more weight.

You start phase 3 when you plateau or reach your target weight lose. Needless to say, I didn't quite reach my target. Not even CLOSE. I was so miserable when I found out that I had to move to phase 3. I felt like a failure. Even though everyone in my class assured me that it wasn't, it was just how my body was, and how brave I was for trying this diet during such a stressful time in my life, yada yada yada...

Didn't matter. I was a failure.

So I decided to REALLY let loose. 2000 calories, here I come! All the food I had been denying myself for the past month, all my cravings...finally quenched! Now I should say that it's supposed to still be a HEALTHY 2000 calories, but I wanted to gain back that 3 pounds quickly, so I can hop back on phase 1, and work my way to equilibrium as quickly as possible. So healthy for most of the day...and then a fattening splurge for one meal.

Saturday's endulgence: fried fish and french fries.
Sunday: mexican (mmmm...cheese....and chips!)
Monday (the worst of the lot): gnocchi, with gorgonzola cream sauce.
Tuesday: pizza for lunch

the decadence! the calories! the fat!

I went into curves and hopped on the scale.



holy shit, another 2 pounds.

what the HELL?

I have NO idea what the fuck my body is doing. I eat healthy: I gain weight. Cram my maw with fat: lose weight.

I guess I shouldn't complain, but I KNOW it won't last. And I want to start the diet over so I can reach my goal by my wedding!!! Dammit!

pass the buttah.