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Thursday, October 06, 2005


The Evils answer allllll your questions! 

Sideshow Bob asks:
Did you ever go to make a pork sausage and find that it's got hair growing all over it?

Umm...not GROWING on it, but I have made many a food item that ends up GETTING hair on it. One of the hazaards of dog ownership. (and...ummm...dating and living with a hairy guy)

Jamie asks:
Do you think you will ever quit blogging? I sometimes wonder when it will end. Do you? This is by no means a suggestion, by the way!

Good, I thought you were HINTING at something! I can't imaging quitting blogging. I can see my blog growing and changing, though. "evolving," if you will. (or "intelligently designing", if that's the way you roll). So I guess I'm saying is that short of a court order, I probably will not be shutting up any time soon.

Anonymous asks:
Have you ever gotten Kev to shave Cap'n Winky? If so, did the two of you enjoy it?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I am so going to start calling it Cap'n Winky! Anyway, this is actually a topic I have blogged on before. I do enjoy a neatly trimmed man. The task of keeping the Cap'n trimmed has fallen to me. I must stress that I TRIM him....I don't shave him. He's nervous enough with the clippers down there. I don't think he'd stand for razors. And do we enjoy it? Well, I enjoy not getting pubes stuck in my teeth, and Kev reaps the benefits of my newfound enthusiam...so yes. We do enjoy it.

Gooch asks:
For Kevin - Ric Flair or Hulk Hogan?

Kevin says - Hulk Hogan

Z asks:
What chocolate do you prefer? milk or dark? ┬ĘPlease do not tell me white chocolate because that shit isn't even chocolate. And name a recipe (w/ chocolate) that you love.

For straight out gorging on the straight stuff, I choose milk chocolate. I love the way it just melts into creamy goodness on my tongue. But for baking, the darker the chocolate the better. And my new favorite recipe HAS to be Sunni's Chocolate Heaven Truffle Cake. Mmmmmmmm!

Restless Angel asks:
What would you do if someone from your past, someone who hurt you pretty damn bad, re-appeared in some form (like for example, talking to one of your best friends on occasion), expressed even the slightest interest to that person the hope to someday talk to you again? Let's say it appears this person has finally gotten their shit together and isn't as much of an ass as you remember them turning into. Would you give them another chance or leave them in the past where they deserve to belong?

hmmmmm...this is a big question. I would say that if you don't have any desire for this person to be in your life again, then you are under no obligation to let them back in. Friendship is not a right. It's a priveledge. and this person obviously lost that priveledge. Even if they have changed, you still have every right to say NO WAY JOSE'!

But if it is only a conversation...really...what have you got to lose? Maybe they just really want to apologize for how shitty they treated you. A simple conversation couldn't hurt, and at the end of it, you can still give them a big "SEE YA!" and never have to speak to them again. Or maybe you'll find out for yourself that they HAVE changed, and that maybe you could be friends again.

if you would like to see if the old friendship could be repaired, then I suggest a probation period. Allow them back in your life, but DO NOT put yourself in a position where they could hurt you again. Do not rely on them for anything. Do not pour your heart out to them. Limit yourself to hanging out, preferably in groups, and keep conversation casual and cordial. This will give you the opportunity to find out if they really HAVE changed Then you can make the decision whether or not you want the friendship to develop. Hope that helps!


Just a Girl asks:
How do you uninvite a not-so-great friend to your house. A friend of mine invited herself and her boyfriend over so I could do a favor for them. Not because they just wanted to hang out, they needed me to do something for them. The next day, they broke up. I thought I was off the hook. Next day after that, she informs me she's still coming over. WTF? How do I grow a spine and tell her, that no, I don't want her to come over, and no I don't want to hang out tonight?

Just say it right? I can't! The words are there but I can't bring myself to say it. Gah!


Lie. LIE LIE LIE! LIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Your grandmother's having surgery. You forgot you had a dentist appointment. Your house is full of carbon monoxide from a furnace leak. You're not up to entertaining because you're too sad about your dog (which is most likely NOT a lie!) Think of a good lie, and stick to it FIRMLY. Do not let her weasel her way around it.

Anonymiddly asks:
Why do I tear up when I get scared? Scared, like horror movie scared.

Fear is a really strong emotion. Sometimes our body handles very strong emotions in very weird ways. You're body is so overcome with emotion, and all your nerves are firing and screaming "what do we do? what is the appropriate response??? should we run????" and your brain says "it's only a movie, and we can't run because there's still popcorn and candy left" and then your nerves say "oh, ok then. welllll...we have to do SOMETHING..." and brain says "Ummmm...i dunno...cry?" "ooooo...good idea!"

And that is the SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION!


Julie asks:
Kevin - what do you really think about the knitting that has taken over your living room? Do you feel a need to watch ESC knitting, or to try and distract her so she'll pay attention to YOU? Or is it just Rick who acts like that?

and Kevin spoketh, saying -
It's no worse than the computer stuff that's taken over the guest room. And when I want her to pay attention to me, I walk into the living room nekked, grab her arm, and drag her into the bedroom.

(ESC here - he really does do that. I don't protest TOO much...hehehehehe)


Serra asks:
Do you knit naked? If so, does Kev likee?

never FULLY nekkid. I do knit in my pjs, which are usually just nightshirts. So I do give him a good flashing now and then. which probably explains his answer to the previous question...


Jamie asks:
Dear Eeeeeevils, I need a good costume idea that I can make out of the crap in my closet. I think I want to go as something dead. Any good ideas?

Oh, being dead is EASY! Grab your ugliest dress. Something hideously floral. give it a few good rips around the edges, really tatter it up. Smudge it with dirt all over. Add some fake pearls and torn nylons. Get some costume make up and add dark circles around your eyes, and blot on green in patches all over your face. TA-DA! Night of the Living Jamie! For extra effect, fake blood on your fingers and fingernails, to make it look like you had to claw your way out of your coffin, just for a taste of delicious BRAINS!

missy asks:
when are you guys getting married?

Not until after I graduate!


Brighton asks:
Explain the whole yogurt for yeast infections thingy. I guess the kind with the crunchies wouldn't work...

Ummm...no. crunchies would be bad. And uncomforable. Just use PLAIN yogurt just as you would any yeast infection treatment. Use it at night. I had a plastic syringe (no needle, of course!) and used that to apply it...ummm...up in there. But you can probably just use your fingers. In the morning, wash it out in the shower. Do this for 4 days. If it's not gone in 4 days, go to the doctor...it's diflucan time!


Sloth asks:
Have you considered using the red hair as an excuse to let your temper flare?

NO! WHAT A STUPID QUESTION! FUCK YOU!


Totsy-Spotsy asks:
Can you recommend a Halloween costume that incorporates an arm splint aside from "Splint Girl"?

given the awkward angle you have to hold out your arm...maybe bride of frankenstein? or join Jamie in zombie goodness? Or....you can put on some dog ears, black your nose, and tie on a tail and go as...are you ready? A POINTER!


Pup asks:
Given that the Avian flu is bound to mutate and spread across humans across the globe and the fact that the world has no where near the amount of vaccines to combat this pandemic.

My question is.

How do I lower my car insurance rates?

I joined Costco and got cheap insurance through them. Don't trust those stupid commercials. Geico is fucking expensive...AND safe auto is overpriced, too! RIP-OFF!


Sarah the Penguin asks:
Do you have any ideas for a way to prevent a cat from eating carpet?

Now now...if you cat is a lesbian, you must SUPPORT her and embrace her for her courage for coming out to you. This wasn't a choice for her, she was born this way. And there's NOTHING wrong with being gay! Maybe to show your support, find out if they make little kitty birkenstocks.

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