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Tuesday, July 12, 2005


Crying in my beer, 'cause she ran off with my truck... 

Yesterday I had to return the rental truck and pick up my repaired car.

It was a very difficult thing to do.

You see, at first I wasn't very enthused about driving a pickup truck for the round trip to Pittsburgh. Kev has a very old Dodge (which he claims would have made the trip, if neccessary. NO WAY JOSE'!) and it's not at all comfortable.

But then, the enterprise lady took me out to the parking lot, and showed me....the truck.

A silver Dodge Ram quad cab. A thing of beauty.

It was huge. But inside very comfy. There were ADJUSTABLE cup holders! That means you could order a large drink at McD's...and it would FIT IN THE CUPHOLDER without the dangerous cramming and tipping usually associated with large fountain drinks. A CD player! (whch I totally brain farted on, and instead of grabbing my CD collection, grabbed my mini iPod and tape deck converter...crap. we relied on radio stations on the drive up. then in pittsburgh, I bought an iPod FM converted that will play your iPod on the radio. Hooray for new toys!)

It was big, but easy to drive.

"But ESC....you drive a FORD ESCORT! How could you POSSIBLY drive that monster?"

Well, cheeeldren, way back when ESC was a simple and naive 16 year old, she learned how to drive on the two family cars. A little Renault hatchback...and a 10 passenger GMC van - not minivan...VAN. It was massive, but I soon learned to handle it like a pro. (ooo...THAT sounded dirty!)

aside: that van rocked. everyone recognized that van - they called it the (esc's real last name)-mobile. When my brothers learned how to drive, my parents bought a minivan, and gave them the van (and note the complete lack of bitterness in my voice about how my brothers got a vehicle in high school and I did not). They drove that van ragged, and it was held together by prayers and duct tape ("west virginia pipe clamps"). I'm told when they took it for state inpection, all the men working at the garage gathered around to see if it would pass. It did, and there was much laughter and applause. and probably some bets lost. Eventually, the van met the fate of so many of our family vehicles: it died in the driveway and was given as a donation to the kidney foundation, who happily towed it away. I have pictures of that momentous occasion: the end of an era.

So while driving the truck was a little awkward at first, the skills came back quickly.

It was a nice ride - much more comfy than my car, for the 12 hours. There was a back seat, so Sadie rode in comfort...until it started to rain, and we had to move our luggage to the back seat as well. then she was a little cramped.

I felt very powerful driving it. I would like to change lanes...GET OUT OF MY WAY, MORTALS!!! BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! BOW BEFORE ESC AND HER HUGE TRUCK OF DOOOOOM!!!!

Downsides:

- horrible turning radius. It took me at least 3 manuevers to get into a parking space.

- filling the gas tank. Ohhh...the horror....THE HORROR!!! MINIMUM $50 for a fill up. We tried to fill up as much as we could in the south, where the gas was a little cheaper. But when you're used to filling up an 11 gallon tank...a 26 gallon tank was a little frightening. also, there was a digital display inside that gave you useful information, like the temp outside, the direction you were headed...and the average mpg you were getting. Ugh...18mpg...highway.

BUT...it was a cool ride while it lasted.

And my car is back...and dent free. They even fixed the all the scratches underneath the front end, where I must have...ummm...maybe scraped by a curb too closely...or something...

I told them not to bother with the little barely there dents on the hood and one on the door. So I only had to go about $60 into my deductable. Hooray!

My car is beautiful again!

But still...that truck...it was amazing....

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