Tightrope 

Today is not a good day.

We're leaving for pittsburgh on friday, and I have a million and a half things to do before then. I have to get my car in for repairs. I have to rent a pickup truck for the trip (we're coming back with my grandfather's shopsmith, and likely, my grandparent's washer and dryer). I have to pack. I have to remember to bring our birth certificates. I have to give Sadie a bath. I have to turn in my form to get my student loan.

I have so much to do in the lab.

I'm living in fear of my advisor right now. I'm avoiding her so she won't ask me how much I've gotten done. If I've done my CsCl and started on another 2D gel (no). I'm afraid she's going to ask me about the meeting I had planned on attending in Colorado at the end of July. I'm not going. I can't lose a whole month. I need to keep working. And then she will give me shit about taking a week off to go home to pittsburgh.

And if she does that, I will flip out at her. Because if I don't get out of here, I will go crazy. Total and complete mental breakdown.

I am on the edge right now. I'm hovering on a razor sharp line, and the slightest nudge will push me over.

I'm holding my breath.

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