Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Small sense of accomplishment *now with more squirrel!* 

Yesterday, I cleaned.

I'm just so sick of doing the same things over and over in the lab and them not work. I feel like I'm going insane. Like it's all pointless. Nothing I do works.

And I got home, and I stared at the mess of papers on the floor, shopping bags on chairs, old mail in piles on endtables...and I said THIS I CAN DO!

So I cleaned. I sorted. I moved. I scrubbed. I did everything but vacuum, because then Kev got home with the Chinese take out. Maybe I will vacuum tonight after choir practice.

I even cleaned up the desktop on my laptop.

I am organized.

THAT I can do.


Julie's recent squirrel issues made me think of a funny story.

Way back during my first year in atlanta, I lived in an apartment..a rather ghetto apartment. I had sadie only for few months, and still kept her locked in her crate at night. One saturday morning, she started getting restless and whiney at around 7am. OH NO YOU DI-INT! So I went out and yelled at her (yeah, I'm mean like that). She quieted down for a little while, then started up again.

I contemplated getting up again, when I heard *clink*. Clink? wtf? Nothing in her crate should be going *clink*!

*clink* There it was again!!!

I walked into the living room/dining room, and didn't see anything to weird. Sadie was REALLY anxious. I walked over to the table where I kept all her food and treats. The lid was off the glass container that held her peanut butter biscuits, which had been full the night before, and now was completely empty. OH SHIT!

I let Sadie out of her crate, and she bolted into the kitchen and started sniffing around the fridge. I was thinking...rat? Oh shit, I hope it's not a rat. Would a rat be able to climb up the table and lift the heavy glass lid off the jar? Not sure...wait...what else could it be....


I pushed Sadie out of the way, but didn't put her back into her cage. She was my only protection against a violent squirrel attack. Cautiously, I pulled back the fridge and peered behind.

There was...a HUGE FUCKING HOLE IN MY WALL!!!! At least 2 x 2 feet. At some point in the past, some asshat maintenance person decided that the best way to fix the hole was to nail (not screw in) a piece of plywood over the hole. Eventually, the nails worked themselves loose (or, more sinister, the squirrels hammered them out from the inside using acorns and small rocks...hmmmm....) and the piece of crap plywood fell, exposing the hole, and providing a nice squirrel access passageway into my kitchen. IN MY APARTMENT! MY DOMAIN! I'VE BEEN INVADED! I think I was hyperventilating a little.

So I shoved the fridge back into place and (this is the genius bit) propped up some baking sheet pans to cover the spaces next to the fridge. Take THAT, stupid squirrels! You can pull a heavy glass lid off a jar, but COWER BEFORE MY ALUMINUM BAKING SHEETS!!!!


"OK, ma'am, we'll try to get someone over there sometime today"

WHAT??? FUCKING RIGHT NOW BITCH!!!!! But it was Saturday. Nothing gets done on Saturday.

So I waited...and waited. Sadie kept guard next to the baking sheets. Then I decided...this is silly. I am a Strong, Independent Woman Living On Her Own. I am not Weak and Useless. And, most importantly, I Own Tools.

So I grabbed my hammer and cautiously pulled back the fridge enough for me to get access - making as much noise as possible, to scare off any potential second wave of squirrel infantry. I quickly nailed the plywood back in using the old nails, and then shoved the fridge back in place.

I was jumpy for the rest of the weekend. I started leaving Sadie's crate door open at night, but there were no more suspicous incidents. As far as I know, the asshat maintenance people never showed up, and that hole is probably still there to this day - while the squirrels slowly work away at the backs of those nails.

I bought Sadie more peanut butter biscuits and apologized for yelling at her.