Friday, April 29, 2005

just a straaaaanger on the bus.... 

I'm reliving my college days...weirdly enough.

The first reason, you will make fun of me for. Well, I know Kev will.

I was in desperate need of chapstick last week, having gouged out as much as I could from my last stick of mint flavored Chapstick brand (the only kind i use). My only hope was CVS, which to my dismay, does not stock the mint flavor. Bastards. So I bought the "lip moisturizer" Chapstick in the blue tube. I used to use that kind years ago, before I discovered the cooling wonder that is the mint flavor.

Now my lips taste like college. Only without the Rum aftertaste.

Also I've been digging through old CDs to put on my iPod. I now have a nice collection of Angry Female/Lilith Fair type stuff from college taking over my play lists.

Alanis Morisette
Natalie Merchant
Joan Osbourne
Shawn Colvin

It's bringing back lots of memories, and it's got me thinking...

God, was I an idiot in college, or what? I thought I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders. I remember how dire my situation always seemed...drunk and crying in the woods behind the townhouse, soooo tragic that Adam didn't love me like I loved him (oh my, did I have terrible taste) and it was just the WORST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN TO ME EVER!!!

Every time I get to the next "stage" in my life, I look back at the previous stage and think..."god, what an idiot I was!"

Will this happen for the rest of my life? Will I be sitting around, age 75, thinking about how young and stupid a 65 year old I was?

In a way, that could be a good thing, because it will mean that I continue to learn from my mistakes and grow as a person.

But it could also be a bad thing, because I really don't want to spend my whole life thinking that I'm an idiot.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, and these thoughts are really too deep for a friday. I just got good news, my advisor told me to start writing up my previous mammoth of a project to be published. The results of 3 years of work ended up being...meh. But a colaboration with another lab using the same mutant alleles ups it from "meh" to "huh!" At least if we can get it published it will justify my existance here. My newer work looks more interesting, but I hate to think that the first four years were a complete waste.

Changing the subject completely: a dilemma.

A book I want is $30 at the store.

I can get it from Amazon brand new for $19 + shipping...OR I can buy something else as well and by combining it get free shipping...which will end up being a little over $30 total.

OR I can buy it used from Amazon for $13...plus shipping...which will bring the total to $19...which is what I would pay for it NEW from amazon!

Gah! Should I get more for more money????

I can't make stupid decisions like this.