Monday, March 07, 2005

This is the title of my post 

fuzzy math

1 small glass of orange juice + 1 smoothie + 1 coffee + 16 oz 3 calorie lightly carbonated fruit drink = around 15 trips to the bathroom so far today

at least I know my kidneys are functioning properly

mama bear

When I was in college, my friends used to joke that I was the "mom" of the group. This is funny, since I don't think I have many maternal qualities. But I always looked after my friends. Made sure they got back to their rooms OK after a long night of drinking. Got everyone up on the weekends to go eat brunch. Was the voice of reason (even when falling down drunk) for friends who weren't sure if they should go home with the random guy at the party. ("that guy?? hellll no! didn't he give Leslie some kind of itchy STD thing last month????")

I also could be an overprotective beeotch. I broke up fights. I stood up for friends in trouble. And when one of my friends was being an unreasonable jackass, I gave them a verbal smack upside their heads.

I am no diplomat. I have no tact. I don't mince words. My verbal smack downs carry quite a sting, but they are generally effective.

You can mess with Mama Bear, but DON'T mess with Mama Bear's friends.


I enjoy cooking big, belly satisfying dinners.

But after eating a big, belly satisfying dinner, some activities become difficult. There's nothing more frustrating than feeling amorous, and wanting...well...a "reward" for cooking such a great dinner...but being totally incapable of doing more than laying on the couch like a beached whale, with my pants unbuttoned, gently falling asleep.

and the object of my affections in a similar state. though he tries...

"sorry babe. I can help you out, though"


I think we'll eat carrots and chicken broth for the rest of the week!