Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Hey Abe! 

Continuing the tradition of finding and posting things that will ultimate lead to my soul burning in a fire pit of hell, but still laughing my ass off (and because I seriously do think God has a much better sense of humor than most people give Her credit for)

Via Mimi Smartypants (and boy do I LOVE her blog! oh, that my writing was half as clever...)

How Many Names Hath God?

My personal favorite is "Am"


Moses cried, “When the slaves in Goshen ask your name, what shall I tell them?” and God said, “Ehyeh-Asher-Ehyeh. I am who I am.”

“Are you sure?” asked Moses.

“You will say, ‘Ehyeh has commanded you.’”

Moses went and did the Lord’s bidding. He returned a short time later.

“No one really takes the name Am seriously.”

God said, “Did you use the word Ehyeh?”

“They already know that Ehyeh means Am. It’s our language. They think it’s a weird name. And not as pleasing as Osiris.”

“I wasn’t speaking literally. It’s kind of a play on words, like, I’m sort of beyond a name, because I AM. So for them, that’s all the identity I need. I am.”

“I think the problem is the verb being used in place of—”

“Okay, you know what? Tell them they can call me He Who Doesn’t Put Up With Shit Like This, or better yet, they can call me He Who’s Gonna Leave Them To Rot In Egypt. See if they like that name better.”