Thursday, September 16, 2004

Grad school bitching 

Well, Ivan is slowly making his appearance in atlanta. It's rainy and windy. We're not supposed to get the full strength (or what's left of it) until late tonight. I hope everyone in blogville in his path comes out OK (drdave? you and the fam survive the night?)

The dreary weather is NOT motivating me to get to work (note the time...I'm not even dressed yet!). Of course, I have that luxury because the boss lady(SJR) is in England for a conference. AA is there for the conference, too, and don't get me STARTED on that, since boss lady told us a LONG TIME AGO that she wouldn't pay to send us to conferences overseas. and not ONLY is AA there, she's staying an EXTRA WEEK!!! SJR TOLD her to stay an extra week, to enjoy herself.

Do you know how much grief I got for taking last week off? Do you??

I feel the resentment in me. I'm choking on it.

It doesn't help that starting this new project has not been as easy as we'd hoped. She's expecting preliminary results when she gets back, but I'm going to have to tell her that my Southern blot showed multiple insertions of the donor plasmid in each of my transformants. So I had to start all over. And I'm going to tell her this and I'm going to get THE LOOK, and the "you know you really have to get going on this, blah blah blah. You're a 6th year now and you need to get something blah blah blah."

And then I'm going to scream at her, because she acts like I'm purposely sabatoging my own project.

And then I talk to my mom, and she asks "have you met with your committee yet? do you know when you're going to graduate? you know, we thought you'd have graduated by now."

And allll this does is make me screw up more in lab, because of all the PRESSURE! Ack!!!!

I'm reeeeeeallly hating grad school right now. I know that's all part of the process - bitterness and hate, followed by nervous breakdown, followed by the "fuck it, I don't even care anymore" stage of actually writing the thesis.

blah! guess I should get dressed. maybe we'll order thai food for lunch today...yummy!