Sunday, August 29, 2004

Vacation update 1: Elvis Impersonators,etc 

Yay vacation! Kev and I made the trip in 12 hours, including pit stops. My parents were none too thrilled ("were you going 90mph????" "yeah, a little...")

Today we celebrated my mother's birthday. We at a big lunch at the new Cheesecake Factory in the south side. I've been to the one in atlanta a few times. Mmmm...their food is soooooo good! I had the tiramisu cheesecake. There was a free concert festival at point park, featuring Reba McEntire, so we went to that next.

Something you should know about pittsburghers. ELo, back me up: if you provide free entertainment, booths serving fried food, and fireworks, you are guarenteed to get the bulk of the city of pittsburgh to show up.

We set up chairs and listened to the opening acts as the sky slowly darkened with threatening clouds. We only had three folding chairs, so I stretched out on the blanket and took a short nap - I was sooooo full from lunch.

My parents and I are...eh...about country music, but the big entertainment is the people watching. Whoa...the trash was out en force tonight. There was a girl sitting in front of us for awhile that really killed me.

Now, I am overweight. I know this. I know that I am beautiful. I realize that while I am free to wear whatever I choose, I will look my best in clothes that flatter my figure. So I wear things that emphasize my breasts and de-emphasize my tummy. This girl must have been close to 400 lbs. She was wearing...wife beaters (for those that don't know, "wife beaters" is slang for men's tank undershirts). Which were very tight on her, revealed all her lumpiest parts, and when she sat down, exposed at least half of her back, and the ugly tattoo on it. Whoa.

Later, three men sat in front of us rolling cigarettes and smoking them Bleah! A girl walked by wearing a low cut white shirt that was wet, and her blue lacy bra was clearly visible. Did I mention she looked about 16?

Later in the night, the Elvis impersonators walked by. God, I wish I had remembered to bring my camera. The first guy was about 5'3", big poofy black wig, full beard, and HUGE beer gut. He was wearing the white Elvis costume circa 1972, with the...well...remember "the dress" worn by J. Lo a few years back? Well, it was cut like that, exposing his huge, hairy, beer gut. The other Elvis with him was a scrawny black guy who's costume sort of hung limply on him. They passed in front of us, and Kevin moved our blanket out of their way. The first Elvis turned to look at him. "thank you, thank you very much."

My dad announced that it made the entire concert. We all agreed, after we stopped crying from laughing so hard.

We decided not to stay for Reba's whole set, as 1. we saw heavy lightening in the distance, and 2. the thought of fighting the crowd to get out of there was not at all appealing. We would miss the fireworks, but it seemed the best plan. Just as we got back to the van, the sky opened up and sheets of rain drenched everyone who didn't take cover in time. yay! Good timing.

So now we're just watching a Bond movie and snacking on leftover pizza. Tomorrow we visit some relatives, and maybe later get some new tires for my car at Walmart (parents are picking up the tab, because I am P-O-O-R and pathetic) as my tires are dangerously bald.

Some people go to beachy exotic places for vacation, but I doubt they had fat hair Elvis impersonators!!!