Monday, August 02, 2004

Lemme tell you a story... 

Arrrrgh. Defending online dating, still. That's fine. It's not for everyone. It has it's ups and downs, like any method of meeting people.

So sit down, cheeldren, and I'll tell you the story of how K and I met. This is the last "ESC's sad dating past" story I'll tell, I promise.

Let's start pretty early on in the game. I had gone on a few dates, but nothing was clicking. Then I started chatting with a guy I'll call "tom," because that's his name. Tom was funny, tall, and smart. He was a writer, but in his former life he had been in microbiology, so he actually understood most of what I said. Wow. Too good to be true?

Yes. Tom was...mormon. Hah. What did I say about dating anyone who's faith was radically different from mine? Well, I ignored my own rule. He seemed normal, smart, how mormon could he possibly be? OK, he was a 30 year old virgin who had never seen boobs before. So? Not like I had all that much experience!

So we started going out, and all was going great. I began to think...wow...this is someone I could actually see myself with. That wasn't supposed to happen - I just wanted to date, you know? But I decided to give myself permission to fall for Tom...hard.

Then came the "invite him over and cook him dinner date." You know, the one where you show off your skills. I made my specialty: chicken parmesean with angel hair pasta. mmmmm...

Everything started off normal...did a little kissin', had dinner, and then we started talking. Well, he started talking, I listened. He talked about the last girl he dated, how she was mormon, and how he didn't like dating mormon girls. Then he said that he was reading through the book of mormon the day before (uh oh) and had done some thinking (double uh oh). Here the summary: I was someone he could see himself spending the rest of his life with, but that would mean he would only find happiness on earth with me, since I'm not mormon and we wouldn't be able to go to mormon heaven. And since he doesn' t like mormon girls, he's decided to give up dating all together, so he can go to mormon heaven.

WTF??? On a positive note, I usually win the "best breakup story" contests - I got dumped so that he could go to heaven. In retrospect, I'm greatful. I would have resented any attempt he'd made to convert me. But at the time I was pretty upset. And to make the devastation complete, Mr "I'm not going to date anymore's" profile was back on yahoo 3 days later. What an asshat.

So I was pretty jaded after that. I switched to Match, and tryed a new pool of guys. From then on, any conversation I had with a guy began with "so, what religion are you?" Had a few dates, nothing clicked. I wasn't just getting desperate...I was getting HORNY! Tom's "no sex till marriage" believe meant no lovin' during our short relationship. :(

Match didn't work for me, and I thought about giving it a rest, when I saw a commercial for Lavalife. I decided to set up a profile, but not pay anything, and just see if I get any interest. With Lavalife, you can send "smiles" to someone you're interested in for free. Perfect. So I sent a couple of smiles out. A guy named Rust (again, 'cause that's his name) started writing me. Rust was nice, though he's the one who lied about his height. But he seemed genuinely interested, and he was methodist, so I let it slide. Around that time, I came across a profile of someone called "buffettfan." His profile seemed interesting, but no pic. Oh well, can't hurt to send a smile. He wrote back, and we started IMing. His name was K (haha! not going to give away his name...like there's all that many that begin with K) He was a few signatures away from finalizing a divorce. He'd only been married for a year, and had been separated since the previous september, had dated other people since (so no rebound worries) and he was raised baptist but wasn't really religious. We had nice chats on IM, and he thought I was funny (very important). But things were going OK with Rust, we'd already gone out once and had a nice time. There was no fireworks, but he was normal and he liked me and I was horny.

K wanted to meet, so I thought what the heck. Things were going well with Rust (REALLY well...hehe) so K would have to make a pretty good impression if it were going to go anywhere. And after all the IM flirting we did, I was curious to meet him. Rust and I hadn't had the "exclusive" talk, so no harm. So K and I met for dinner at a nearby restaurant. K was...tall (oh my)...broad shoulders (is it hot in here?)...had a deep but soft voice with a southern drawl (definately getting warm)...and was adorably shy (oh...my...). He was a computer geek, but had his share of blue collar gigs, giving him skills in electronics, car repair, and carpentry (....!). Afterwards, I was this close to inviting him back to my place, but was afraid of ruining it (ruining it? but I was seeing Rust...right?). So I kissed him goodnight and felt warm and fuzzy for the rest of the night.

Rust and I had another date, before he left for Japan for two weeks. But my heart wasn't really in it, and I think he could tell. K and I kept instant messaging (it was our preferred method at that point. we occasionally still IM each other, me from the living room, him from the spare room. isn't that disgustingly cute?).

Our second date was fabulous wonderful amazing. So much so that...it...uh...lasted two and a half days. Hehe. I'm such a slut :)

And that's pretty much it. I broke the news to Rust when he returned from Japan. He was dissapointed, but not overly surprised. I still get the occasional IM from him, fishing for info on whether K and I are still together. Poor guy.

So that's the story of K and I - we've been together ever since. He moved in in december. We've discussed marriage, and he's said he'll propose "when the time is right." What a guy answer! (hehe...just kidding, sweetie! love you!)

Any more questions? :)