Tuesday, August 10, 2004

How an EvilScienceChick makes meatballs 

1. dig through freezer in desperation for something to eat

2. find two zip lock bags containing squarish lumps wrapped in foil, marked "ground beef" and "ground pork" and the date 3/04

3. wonder how long ground meat lasts in the freezer

4. realize you don't care.

5. unwrap frozen lumps and begin to defrost in microwave.

6. chop up a large onion and rummage around in cabinet to find seasoned bread crumbs.

7. open fridge to get eggs

8. realize you are out of eggs

9. send boyfriend to store to get eggs. oooo...and some crusty bread

10. remember that mom once told you that soaking breadcrumbs in milk made meatballs soft

11. dump defrosted meat, half the chopped onion, two eggs, about a cup of bread crumbs, and a splash of milk into large bowl.

12. begin to mix with hands. realize you added too much milk

13. add more bread crumbs

14. add more bread crumbs again

15. when the consistancy allows easy rolling, stop adding breadcrumbs!

16. roll golfball sized balls with hands, roll them around in some more damned breadcrumbs, then place in hot pan with olive oil.

17. turn after a few minutes, you want them nice and brown all around. this will make them oddly shaped apparently.

18. tell boyfriend that "authentic" homemade meatballs are always oddly shaped.

19. stick probe thermometer in middle of one (you have a probe thermometer, don't you?). if temp is not yet 160 F, place meatballs in baking dish and put in 350 F oven until they are.

20. dump used oil out of pan, put in new olive oil, and saute the other half of the onion and a few cloves of chopped garlic.

21. add 1 can diced tomatoes, 1 can tomato sauce, 1 shot (or so) of vodka.

22. pour sauce over meatballs

23. you are a genius!

ps: dastard, I'm 1/4 sicilian, 3/8 polish, and a mismatched assortment of various United Kingdom type enthnicities. an all american mutt!