Thursday, July 01, 2004

In Dreams 

Some people have inspiring dreams. Some people have fun dreams. Some people have vivid nightmares.

I have uncomfortably boring dreams that tend not to end well.

Last night I dreamed I was having dinner at Home Depot, which was owned by my grandmother (hey, it’s my dream). I was sitting with a large group of people at a long table, but I didn’t know anyone else there. Suddenly, I realized I was sitting across from...I wouldn’t call him my ex, exactly (too good a description for him) let’s see… a complete bastard mistake from my past. That’s a pretty good description I tried to avoid him, but he cornered me, and started doing what he did best: calmly and logically, he started bringing me down. He described things that were wrong with me, and that this was why I was acting the way I did, and why I was so unreasonable. I felt myself sinking down, down, and I couldn’t escape.

Next, for some inexplicable reason, I dreamt that a bunch of Hulk action figures (the kind filled with jelly goo, so you can stretch and squeeze them) were coming to life and killing people. I kept telling everyone “there’s just toys! Just don’t buy them, then!” but no one would listen. People kept buying the toys, which would come to life, and then kill them.

OK – first part of my dream is not so weird. I’m sure everyone dreams about those kinds of past mistakes. But the second part? WTF? I never even saw the hulk movie! My only possible explanation is that when I was a kid, I was terrified of the Hulk television show. Every time his eyes would start to turn yellow and glow, I would run screaming from the room. My father found this very funny, and would try to get me to come back. He did this during scary movies, as well. Whenever the music would get ominous, I would leave (come on, I was 5! Cut me some slack). And my dad would say “come back in, the scary part is over!” and of course, it wouldn’t be, and I would walk back in just as the monster/villain was eating/dismembering/stabbing the victim.

No wonder I have crazy dreams and am so messed up! My dad scarred me for life. Not just him. Around the same time (5 yrs old or so) we would go over to my great aunt and uncle’s for a Christmas eve family gathering. My great-uncle, “shark”, was an avid hunter, and one of his prize trophies was a black bear, who’s head was mounted in the family room.

“where’s the rest of the bear?” I asked

“behind the wall, of course!” he said.

Then he’d wink at me, and place an M&M in the bear’s open, snarling mouth.

About an hour later, he would call my attention to the bear again. “look!”

The M&M would be gone!!!

Obviously, the bear had come to life and eaten the M&M, and it was only a matter of time before he woke up again and ate me, too!

I was a troubled child.

The things your family does that screw you up, huh? :)