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Thursday, June 17, 2004


Ain't got no lovin'... 

K is still sick. He came down with vertigo tuesday night. Weird thing, vertigo. He says he's never had it, but his mom gets it alot. Basically, you're dizzy. Like you're drunk, but without the fun of actually getting drunk. So he just sleeps.

I think his job is tiring him out. I hope they hire him for a permanent position, then give him something more interesting to do that put components in computers all day.

Anyway, the upshot of the matter is: no lovin' for me :( Selfish, yes. Very selfish. So selfish that I am disgusted with myself for it. My sweetie is suffering, there's nothing either of us can do (his health insurance doesn't start until July), and all I can think about is: no lovin for me!

I am so wrong. He keeps offering to do what he can, which would be just taking care of my end. But it's weird - I don't get much satisfaction from that if I know I can't reciprocate.

K will probably read this and be sad. Don't be sad, sweetie! When you get better we'll lock ourselves in the bedroom for a few hours. Until then just concentrate on getting well! I will keep my selfishness to myself. Love you! :)

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