...but mostly rants

mooooooooooooved

2006-03-27T16:57:00.000-05:00

The EvilScienceChick has moved to www.evilsciencechick.com

please update your bookmarks and such

if you aren't redirected after a few seconds, please click on the link above.

We're movin' on UP!

2006-03-25T13:31:00.000-05:00

OK, blogger is being a bitch. A big fat bitch, the biggest bitch in the whole wide world.

Not even sure if this is even going to publish. I hope it does, because I'm JUMPING SHIP!

That's right. "...but mostly rants" is LEAVING TOWN, BABY! Don't worry, I'm not closing up, dumping the archives, and heading to anonymity in mexico, or anything.

I purchased a domain a while back, and I've just been sitting on it. I decided it was time to do something with it. And being that Sloth has had such good luck moving on to Wordpress, I thought I would give it a try. And while it is much more complicated than Blogger, I'm liking it. I'm paying for hosting....yikes! But that way, I can keep the customization features I like, but at the same time, I don't have a template that goes all FUBAR when you switch browsers or screen resolutions.

Anyway...blah blah blah...rationalizations and justifications....

I'm still in the process of catagorizing all 820 of my posts, and I'm working on getting all my haloscan comments transfered over. However, that requires blogger to cooperate and IT'S NOT DOING IT. Bitches.

so head on over and take a look around, tell me what you think.

www.evilsciencechick.com

under construction

2006-03-24T19:39:00.000-05:00

Sorry if my site seems to disappear then reappear on occasion. Big things are happening, exciting changes, blah blah blah.

Tons of work for me.

small work for you - updating your blogroll...I KNOW! WHAT A PAIN! I'M SUCH A BITCH!

but I'm learning a new language and a whole other bunch of painful shit right now.

So please excuse any mess. Things will be better.

the explanation

2006-03-23T11:22:00.000-05:00

if you DON'T see the new template, refresh or clear your cache.

It still looks wonky in IE. I'm still considering wordpress, as all the cool people are doing it. But I would have to pay for hosting service, because I would want to fool around with the template, and also you can import haloscan commenting that way.

I'm still thinking about it.

Anyway, if any of you are wondering where the "headless baby" thing came from, it's an old joke of mine.

When I'd meet new people at parties, bars, etc, they'd inevitably ask what I do for a living.

I'm a grad student. What do I study? yeah...uhhh...genetics.

If THAT didn't kill the conversation and scare them off, they'd sometimes ask what I do with genetics. This is a very boring and complicated situation. People WANT to hear "I'm working on a cure for cancer." Or "I clone sheep."

I hate non-science people demanding a detailed explanation of what I do, and then acting all bored and confused when I try to explain it. I STUDY GENETICS! LEAVE IT BE, PEOPLE!

Anyway...the joke was, I started telling people who asked that I cloned headless babies and harvested their organs. It usually took a few seconds before they realized I was joking. But those few seconds were PRICELESS!

Also explained why I was single for so long.....

huh.

anyway, that's the explanation for the banner. hope you like it!

is this thing on?

2006-03-22T16:17:00.000-05:00

was it just me, or was blogger being a total beeotch for most of today?

geez loiuse! It's making me think more and more about jumping ship to another platform, like some other people have done or are considering. but because I am a control freak, I'd probably have to pay for hosting, just to be able to customize my blog.

is it worth it? hmmmmm....

anway, last night was so much fun! for me! and a little for Kev, I guess.

Because we went to Macy's and started our registry!

Oh my god, is it a weird feeling. To basically say "this shall be our china pattern from now on, for eternity. SO SHALL IT BE!"

We didn't pick much out - we were pretty hungry. But we do have our china pattern (gah! so grown up!) and some nice stainless tableware. The silver is a little pricey - vera wang's silverware goes up to SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS PER PLACE SETTING! Holy crap! Kev liked having imput on what we did register for, so I guess I'll keep him in the loop. His main concern is STURDY SILVERWARE! Nothing crappy that bends when you dig into some ice cream. So the stainless set we registered for is VERY STURDY! but pretty!

There's a bunch of stuff I want to add, but I can do it online as soon as they get the registry on the website. We'll probably also hit Target, because really, who DOESN'T register at Target?

I'll probably have the registries linked at my wedding blog soon - which some of you have access to, so if you're dying to see what I've picked out, just wait a few days. If you are indignant that you are unaware of my wedding blog, email me. If I know you, I'll give you the link. My family and "real life" friends have access to that blog, so there will be a lot more detailed information on it than I'd like my normal, everyday blog stalker to know.

Anyway, after THAT fun, we ate dinner at the Buckhead Diner. Which is not really a diner. It's a really expensive restaurant that has some diner overtones, but in a tasteful and classy way. Neither of us had been there before, and we had a $25 gift card that some friends had given us a LOOOOONG time ago that we had never used and had kind of forgotten about (oops! sorry V and E!)

Anyway, we totally pigged out. Diet was long forgotten. By the time we got a table, it was almost 8:30 and we were STARVING! Appetizer pleeze! Homemade potato chips with bleu cheese sauce. For my dinner, I had a beef tenderloin BLT and some veggies...and a side of chips! The waiter forgot to mention that part...

Kev had some yummy roasted chicken and mashed taters. we were already full, but splurged on dessert. We got my ice cream for free, because it was their ANNIVERSARY DESSERT! FREE! And THAT is why you ALWAYS tell the restaurant what you are celebrating. You may possibly have to endure an embarrassing birthday serenade from the waitstaff, but the free dessert makes it all worth it. BD's ice cream is homemade...it was WONDERFUL! and no embarassing song, though they did stick a candle in it.

We waddled back to the car and made it home. And...sorry dear readers...no freaky stories of sordid funky monkey sex. We were exhausted and full to bursting. Lots of cuddling and kissies and "love you!" and cutesy stuff that people who have been together longer than 6 months don't do anymore, but we are JUST THAT CUTE!

Monkey sex shall resume tonight.

ps: I put this in the previous note's comments, but the story of how Kev and I met can be found here. It's not ALL the details, but it gives you the general story.

3 years

2006-03-21T17:05:00.000-05:00

How can 3 years go by so quickly, yet feel like they've lasted a lifetime? I can't even remember what life was like before without you. I can't imagine the future without you.

I love you so much, sweetie.

*************update*****************

what a great anniversary! we had a fantastic evening. details...well...SOME details later ;)

a scene

2006-03-21T01:05:00.000-05:00

scene opens. it is almost 1am.

ESC, post-shower, hair still wet, and in her nightshirt. She calls to Sadie, who is eagerly awaiting her pre-bed pee time.

Sadie sits by the front door. ESC opens the door to check on the weather before leashing Sadie. It is storming, but the rain falling gently now, thunder off in the distance.

There, in front of the door, sits a cat. Mostly white, with dark markings around it's ears.

The cat looks at ESC.

ESC looks at the cat.

The cat looks at Sadie.

Sadie looks at the cat.

a second goes by, the three are frozen.

then....

"SADIE!!!"

The cat streaks back around the corner, Sadie close on its heels. ESC whisper-shrieks again "SADIE!!!!"

But Sadie is down the hallway, around the corner, out of site.

"shit shit shit shit shit shit"

ESC emerges from the hallway, facing the parking lot. No sign of the cat, or Sadie.

"shit shit shit"

but then, off to the side in her usual night time pee place, is Sadie, crouching and relieving herself like normal. She finishes, and then trots back towards ESC like nothing happened.

ESC looks at Sadie as she passes by.

Sadie gives ESC a look as if to say "whaaaat? that? that was nothing!"

ESC wonders if her heart will recover from almost leaping out of her chest a few seconds earlier, follows Sadie inside, and gives her a biscuit.

Then TOTALLY blogs the whole thing.

dammit!

2006-03-20T15:40:00.000-05:00

Why didn't I bring a book? Or my knitting? Or SOMETHING to show my absolute disdain for the waste of time that will occur in just a little while.

What is it? Lab safety training. REQUIRED lab safety training. For everyone, regardless of how long you've worked in a lab. Something the department dreamt up this year, brand spanking new, just for us. This is my 7th year here...and I am going to have to sit through an hour of some boring-ass yahoo telling me that sandals are not appropriate lab wear.

FUCK

YOU.

I plan on putting my head on my arms and sleeping through it. Bastards.

*********update**********

I was wrong. it was and HOUR AND A HALF of some boring yahoo. jeebus christos...WAY too long. My favorite part was how she asked if anyone used blood or pathogens in their lab, and NONE OF US DO, so she said she'd go through those sections quickly so we could...get this...GET OUT EARLY! HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!

and the she proceeded to go over EVERY SLIDE IN EXCRUCIATING DETAIL.

that's an hour and a half of my life that I will NEVER get back.

and the #10 thing I've learned...

2006-03-20T12:05:00.000-05:00

Bulgar wheat gives me gas.

Very very VERY bad gas.

ugh.

pity Kevin. and my labmates. But I'm blaming it on the sewage system, which has a tendencey to back up at the pump in the lab next to ours. At home I just blame it on Sadie.

things I've learned so far this weekend

2006-03-18T18:27:00.000-05:00

1. never buy the pre-made roasted veggie and hummus wraps in the cafeteria EVER AGAIN. EVER.

2. Neither Kev nor I enjoy corned beef, really. We never have to make it again.

3. my 3 favorite words right now: Mmmmmint Mmmmmmocha FRAPACCINO!

4. my 3 LEAST favorite words right now: Limited Time Only

5. Target shoes are cute and cheap, and I LOVE THEM!!!

6. ~~Posting a picture of my nekkid legs on my blog must freak some people out. Next time, maybe my arms?~~ ok, that's just me being paranoid.

7. cooking light is the best food magazine EVER and you should all go out and buy the issue with the mac and cheese on the cover and then make the greek bulgar salad and also the red lentil soup. fucking fantastic.

8. my dog has a red eye with a swollen, slightly enflamed corner of her eye. I am keeping it clean with saline solution and giving her benedryl in the hopes that it's allergies. not really something I've LEARNED, but I wanted to get that in here at some point, and this list format seemed to be a good way to do it. also, she's mad at me because I gave her a bath and clipped her toenails, and now all her bedding is in the wash so she doesn't know where to sit, so she just keeps wandering around the living room giving me longing sad looks with her red eye. I don't feel guilty, though, because she's so cute and fluffy after her bath. OK, I'm rambling.

9. knitting cotton washcloths is quick and satisfying. and useful!

a picture share for st. patrick's day

2006-03-17T00:09:00.001-05:00

To ease everyone back from the previous scary science post, some pictures to share!

Kev got a new toy when he visited his mom a couple of weeks ago - an iced tea maker! Now we don't have to constantly forget about the big pan of water boiling away on the stove. He looooooves it. He makes a fresh pot just about every night.

Uhhh...ignore the dirty dishes in the sink.

Earlier today, in an email conversation with Julie, she mentioned that someone at her work brought in Irish Soda Bread to share. Minutes later, this post appeared on Slashfood.

It was fate. I had to try it.

They're still cooling, so I haven't tried it yet. One is for us, one will go into the lab on Friday for a St. Paddy's day treat!

and finally...

So many of you were SO NICE on my previous post where I was down about my lack of consistant weight loss. This is why I blog. I have the best blog friends! So I thought I'd share my working out success with you. The one part of my body that has shown GREAT results by regular excercise and resistance training. I know I'm a little late for HNT, but I hope you'll all forgive me ;)

They're a little pale. And you can CLEARLY see my red penguin nightshirt. How embarassing. But I've lost a total of 13 inches off my thighs. And that is FUCKING FANTASTIC! DAMN SKIPPY I'm showing them off!

So there ya go. A little bit of fun for friday. Now go drink green beer till ya puke :)

***update***

the bread is tasty. I'm sure that's been eating at you while you've been reading this post. Rest assured. Tasty bread.

A sciencey post of experimental goodness.

2006-03-16T16:09:00.000-05:00

after a several month hiatus on 2D gels, ~~my advisor demanded~~ I decided of my own free will to pick them back up again and give it another shot.

Savvy old school readers of my blog may remember my past rants about 2D gels, which I am too lazy to go back and find and link here.

Anywho, we decided to change a couple of things - for you sciencey inclined, the problematic step has been the in gel digest. I switched to a different agarose, and decided to try both the previous enzyme, and pick another enzyme that cuts close to the first, just to see if the ezyme itself is the problem. I ran two gels, one cut with the old, and one cut with the new.

Well...it worked. Like gangbusters. It worked TOO well. USUALLY the in gel digest isn't 100% efficient, and you can see both the cut and uncut peaks, making for a nice comparison.

The left side using the old enzyme didn't work at all - all I can see is uncut. The right side using the new enzyme? 100% cut. Which is nice...but we'd kind of like to see both arcs, not just the cut. as it's the comparison between the two that's telling.

BUT...after months...no...YEARS of doing these stupid experiments, they're finally working.

THANK GOD.

THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!

baaaaaaaad (fat) girl!

2006-03-14T22:20:00.000-05:00

So I've failed to keep everyone up to date on how the diet is going.

miserable.

After that first initial burst of weight loss...the scale just sat there. Sometimes going up (eek!) then edging back down, but never going further down than that. After two weeks of no further loss, our instructor decided to move me to "phase 3." This is where you go to normal eating (2000 calories per day) for a few days, until you gain something like 3 pounds. This becomes your "upper limit," and you go back to phase 1 (1200 calories per day) for a few days, until you lose that 3 pounds again. Then BACK to 2000 calories until you gain them back, then back to phase 1 until you lose them. It should take longer and longer to gain back those pounds, until you can maintain the low weight on 2000 calories per day. Then, if you want, you can start the WHOLE process over again to lose more weight.

You start phase 3 when you plateau or reach your target weight lose. Needless to say, I didn't quite reach my target. Not even CLOSE. I was so miserable when I found out that I had to move to phase 3. I felt like a failure. Even though everyone in my class assured me that it wasn't, it was just how my body was, and how brave I was for trying this diet during such a stressful time in my life, yada yada yada...

Didn't matter. I was a failure.

So I decided to REALLY let loose. 2000 calories, here I come! All the food I had been denying myself for the past month, all my cravings...finally quenched! Now I should say that it's supposed to still be a HEALTHY 2000 calories, but I wanted to gain back that 3 pounds quickly, so I can hop back on phase 1, and work my way to equilibrium as quickly as possible. So healthy for most of the day...and then a fattening splurge for one meal.

Saturday's endulgence: fried fish and french fries.
Sunday: mexican (mmmm...cheese....and chips!)
Monday (the worst of the lot): gnocchi, with gorgonzola cream sauce.
Tuesday: pizza for lunch

the decadence! the calories! the fat!

I went into curves and hopped on the scale.

I....

LOST WEIGHT!

holy shit, another 2 pounds.

what the HELL?

I have NO idea what the fuck my body is doing. I eat healthy: I gain weight. Cram my maw with fat: lose weight.

I guess I shouldn't complain, but I KNOW it won't last. And I want to start the diet over so I can reach my goal by my wedding!!! Dammit!

pass the buttah.

It's peanut butter Sadie time!

2006-03-13T23:25:00.000-05:00

not sure if this video will work...but I'm giving it a try:

if not, here's the mosaic proof of doggy torture:

Overheard at Michael's

2006-03-13T14:17:00.000-05:00

(the craft store, not the blogger)

a teenage girl, one aisle over;

TG: Like, we get a day off for, like, Martin Luther KING day, but, like, Jesus Christ raises from the DEAD and we, like, don't get a day off for it????

does she know easter is on a sunday this year...and EVERY YEAR???

bubble tea!

2006-03-12T21:25:00.000-05:00

Bubble tea! Bubble tea!

I know I've blogged about this before, but...

BUBBLE TEA!!!!

I don't get it very often...bubble tea! The only place around here that I know has it is a little store at Gwinnet mall - which I don't get to very often. But when I do...

BUBBLE TEA!!!!

Honeydew is my favorite. Last time I got it mixed with green milk tea. this time the black milk tea. both are YUMMY!!! BUBBLE TEA!

Did you know you can but BUBBLE TEA kits online?

I am tempted. I just spent another $50 on my dog to buy her damn flea and tick medicine. So I have no money left this month for BUBBLE TEA...KITS!

But ohhhh...the JOY! OF MAKING! BUBBLE TEA! AT! HOME!!!

*************************
DING!

I know I am, like, 5 months late with this review, but we just saw King Kong today at the cheapie theater.

Can I just say, first off, that this movie set off my bullshit-o-meter more times than any movie since Evolution with David Duchovny? By the second half of the movie, all I had to do was look over at Kev, and he smacked my arm. Because he KNEW I was thinking...BULLSHIT! I KNOW it's fantasy, but PLEASE give me just a LITTLE bit of logic so I can allow myself to suspend my disbelief JUST a little!

Things I learned watching KK:

1. White people are so unbelievably tasty, that large predators will ignore larger, already dead prey and risk their own lives fighting to get just a bite. Mmmm...tastes like chicken! White people chicken!

2. it's possible to climb to the top of the empire state building in heels. and, like, move around up there and shit.

3. apparently, gorillas are suckers for juggling.

that is 3 hours of my life I will NEVER get back. The only redeeming part of the day was, later...

BUBBLE TEA!

pop! pop!

2006-03-12T00:30:00.000-05:00

ESC: I'm amazed Dolly Parton's boobs haven't exploded yet. They're huge! Forever huge!

Kev: she still looks damn good for her age. She's a senior citizen, but I'd do her. A sexy senior citizen.

ESC: so she's a...SSILF?

Kev: HAHAHAHAHA! YES! a SSILF!

hey...a post about....uhhh...

2006-03-10T12:38:00.000-05:00

got nothing.

I realized I missed HNT, which is fine, not like I'm a regular participant, or anything. I was going to post a picture of my tongue, because I have one of those freak, angry white tastebuds on the tip of my tongue driving me crazy right now.

Then I wondered if that was a little TOO much. Have I really stooped so low? Who cares about my tongue?

I could come up with a really steamy sex post, but...yeah. got nothing there, either.

Nothing finished in my knitting world.

Booked a photographer for my wedding, and gave final approval on an invitation design...

Kev's taking my car in to get an estimate on the damage today...

Seriously. I got nothing. Check back later. Maybe something exciting will happen.

****car update***

$500 for the car. yeowtch. She's going to pay it herself, though.

he's my man!

2006-03-09T21:10:00.001-05:00

I just watched Kev eat:

raw onion

stale cornbread

Do Si Dos (peanut butter cookies)

and then wash it all down with milk.

guess who is NOT getting kisses tonight?

zombie water

2006-03-09T10:59:00.000-05:00

wanna know what's more irritating than acidic water?

the fact that half our lab is totally unconcerned about it. Claiming that pure water is SUPPOSED to be acidic. And that obviously we've been dealing with this awhile, suffering no ill effects. So obviously everything is OK. OBVIOUSLY. Even though every google search I've turned up says that pure water should be pH of 7. Then they just claim that our water isn't REALLY pure...that our filters aren't milliQ....they're not THAT great.

A PH OF 4.2 IS OBVIOUSLY OK THEN, RIGHT? OHHH...YEAH!

drink the acidic water, ESC...go ahead...use it in your solutions....be like us....usssssssss...everything is going to be....OK....driiiiiiiink.....

my poor baby

2006-03-08T22:16:00.000-05:00

*sigh*

My car has a nice 4 inch dent on the front side, just to the side of the driver's side headlight.

Someone backed into me in the church parking lot while I was at choir practice.

Fortunately, she left her information with the security guard.

Who was it?

*sigh*

The pastor.

this one's for the scientists

2006-03-08T15:23:00.000-05:00

This morning I found myself in the unfortunate position of having to make some 10% SDS stock.

Yeah, *groan* is right. Making SDS sucks. If you're not wearing a mask, the power goes into your lungs and make you cough, and once you get it into water, it NEVER wants to go into solution. You have to make sure the water is hot, and then get the pH just right, and it's really just a big pain in the ass.

So I got a beaker of water heating up on the hot plate, and i measure out the SDS, and when the water hits about 60 C, I add the powder. Ideally, the temp should be 68 C, but I figure I'll just let it stir for awhile while I go about my business.

5 minutes, later, the solution was clear. It had all..gone...into solution. Without being the proper temperature OR adding HCl to bring down the pH.

I was happy, but suscpicious.

I pH'ed it. It was around 5. It's supposed to be 7.2 or most likely higher, as the HCl is used to bring DOWN the pH. It's not supposed to be 5!

There are only two components...SDS and water. I tested the filtered water.

pH of 4.2.

Ohhhh...that's not good. All our water is acidic. Even the tap water is around 5.5 What the hell? Why has no one noticed this??? How long has it been this way?? How much of our work has been affected?

WHY ARE WE ALWAYS THE ONES TO NOTICE THIS SHIT???

Seriously, it's ALWAYS our lab. A few years ago, one of the water heaters broke. We were without hot water in the lab for weeks. Finally, we complained, and they discovered the broken heater. But there are 30 or so other labs in this building that it affected, not a ONE of them complained, or even noticed.

Anyway...I got my solution to the proper pH with a couple drops of NaOH...then I remembered that once I got it pH'ed, I had to bring the volume up to 1 liter...which with our acidic water of DOOM would fuck up the pH again.

Dammit.

AND I'm making another, more critical buffer today, too. You know, I go MONTHS at a time without making any of this shit. YEARS sometimes. Now that our water is more acidic than ACID RAIN...I'm in pH hell.

anyway...thus ends the science rant for today.

fuck you, girl scouts

2006-03-07T11:51:00.000-05:00

You and your delicious, delicious cookies.

and your fucking FALSE ADVERTISING!

On a box of your new cookie "cafe cookies," there is a lovely picture of a group of young girls, gathered around a woman in a leather coat, looking at what I can only presume is a flight map, and there is a small plane in the background.

The implications are obvious. Join the girl scouts! Go flying! Adventures! Personal growth!

Fuck you.

I was in the girl scouts. We learned how to make baby food and cross stitch christmas ornaments.

FUCK

YOU!!!!

mmmmm....cookies....*munch munch munch*

***************************
helpful hints for the women of south dakota

If creepy uncle bob rapes you, this may be your only recourse (via BoingBoing).

I'm sure martha stewart will come out with her own method, using natural antibacterial agents. And a lovely flower arrangement at the end.

It's a good thing.

Just...not for YOU.

******************************
it's not all ranting and hate here...

Over the weekend, I spent more money on my dog than I've spent on clothes for myeslf so far this year. Included in the spendapalooza are two new matching bowls. her old food bowl was one I had made for her in one of those "paint your own pottery" places, and while she never seemed to mind, the constant reminder that after years and years of expensive and very fullfilling art classes at the carnegie museum...my artistic skillz fall depressingly short on pottery.

And over the years, the bowl had become chipped. and gross. So a new one was in order...but then it wouldn't match the WATER bowl (which was a christmas water bowl my parent bought her years ago).

MATCHING BOWLS! HOORAY!

Notice sadie's eyes are closed. She HATES the flash of getting her pic taken. STOP TAKING PICTURES OF ME, WOMAN!

at least it saves me the hassle of photoshopping out her demon glowing eyes.

everyone ELSE is doin' it...

2006-03-06T21:06:00.000-05:00

WEIRD AND/OR INTERESTING SEARCHES THAT HAVE LED PEOPLE HERE!

how long does it take for a skunk to conceive babies (Yahoo) - to CONCEIVE babies? Like...how long do they have to fuck before it happens??? Good lord, I have NO idea. The intricacies of skunk sex is something I haven't dedicated much brain power to. Assuming that things start to smell pretty bad after awhile, though, I would say...very very quickly.

pbr bull riding and knitting (Yahoo) - wow. that is TALENT! Drinking beer, riding a bull, and KNITTING! AT THE SAME TIME! not here. sorry. lots of more talented knitters than me out there in blogland, so PLEASE let me know if you find this person!

whole night anal sex (Yahoo) - ouch.

worlds biggest dumbass' (Google) - sorry, you wanted this site.

how to fuck a really hot chick (MSN) - if you have to do an MSN search...chances are you will NEVER have to worry about this. ever. go back to your battlestar galactica discussion forum and then for the love of god, move out of your parents' basement.

Pwoject Wunway (Google) - you are looking for Sloth

Dear Google, please show me an orange girl with big boobs so I can stop repressing (Google) - OK, whoever you are, PLEASE stop searching for this. seriously. I've had, like, 20 of these hits over the past year or so. I don't even know how you keep finding my site, as I am not listed in the search result. Of course, I will be now. Anyone who has to start a search query with "dear google" probably shouldn't be let near a computer anyway, but orange girl? stop repressing? GO AWAY YOU SICK FUCK!

oscar confessions

2006-03-06T12:33:00.000-05:00

Until a couple of days ago, I had never heard of "Crash."

also, I haven't seen any of the movies nominated for the big awards.

the last movie I saw in the theater was wallace and grommit. Before that, Narnia.

*sigh*

I have a lot of renting to do.

oh yeah...

2006-03-04T23:42:00.001-05:00

Kev's finally home.

How do I feel?

chafed.

;)

a picture not taken

2006-03-04T18:09:00.000-05:00

I love my new camera, but it is bigger and bulkier than my previous camera, so I can't just throw it into my purse and take it along with me where ever I go.

This has a downside.

Like today.

When I went to work.

There were 3 women sitting on the wall near the back entrance of the building, smoking. This was not odd.

What WAS odd, was that they were all wearing short black skirts or dresses, clunky boots, and fishnets. One of them from far away looked like a drag queen, until I realized that was her own blonde hair, teased out to eternity and sprayed frozen in place. The other two were wearing neon green wigs. all three had very goth makeup on.

one of the green wigged ones had a matching green lightening bolt in sharpie across her chest.

When they saw me, they laughed, and told me that they were cloning more of them "in there," indicating my building.

very very weird.

and I have recieved no good explanation for why they were hanging outside a lab building on a saturday afternoon. all I can think is, I must have missed a HELL of a party when I left on friday.

messed up dreams

2006-03-03T14:12:00.000-05:00

Last night, I dreamt I was raped.

I was in a doctor's office. I had never seen the doctor before, and I had no idea WHAT I was seeing him for. But all of a sudden, I was naked on the exam table, and I couldn't move my arms or legs.

He raped me, but it wasn't violent. He just casually started having sex with me. There were serveral women nurses in there, too, and they just went about their business like it was totally normal.

I remember thinking, "I don't want this. Why is this happening?"

It was over quickly, and one of the nurses could see I was upset and said "Don't worry, it's only sex!"

And then another nurse smeared a cream cheese and chive mixture on the bottom of my feet.

Then I woke up.

OK, interpret THAT!

also on my list

2006-03-02T23:02:00.000-05:00

Old people who think that they are the ONLY customer in the bank.

STOP YAKKING OLD LADY, I HAVE CHECKS TO DEPOSIT!

*******************
lab happenings

I took the lab's velvets home to wash them. While I was at it, I grabbed one of our new sets of autoclave gloves that someone had gunked up with autoclave spooge. I threw them in the washer all together.

The gloves came out blue. Dingy blue.

oops.

Think anyone will mind?

non-breeder self-righteousness

2006-03-01T23:35:00.000-05:00

a note to parents

If you have a hyperactive, noisey child who refuses to behave, and starts to make a fuss during a very somber Ash Wednesday church service, there is a distinct possibility that you will HAVE TO LEAVE! Early! Because that kid, is NEVER GOING TO SHUT UP. and taking him out into the lobby and letting him run around and scream WAAAARRRRHHHHHH!!! WAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGG!!!! HAHAHAHAHAWEEEEEEERRHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGG!!! Does NOT help, as the doors are NOT soundproof, and we can STILL HEAR HIM.

And it would maybe help my burning rage if you made at least the SLIGHTEST effort to discipline him. I know he's what, 5? But that's plenty old enough to begin teaching PROPER CHURCH BEHAVIOR. Please, give me a "shush," or SOMETHING.

at the VERY least, bring some fucking coloring books. You can't expect a little kid to be quiet through a whole church service without some external stimulation.

OR.....JUST GO HOME! Sometimes, being a parent means sacrifice. You may just have to STAY THE FUCK HOME. Fair? No. Tough shit. Your kid was so loud, I could barely hear anything going on. and it's only cute once or twice. But he never shut up THE WHOLE SERVICE. It was CONSTANT BABBLE AND SCREAMING. Inexcusable.

And that goes for the parents of ALL the kids that were there tonight. I noticed that none of the kids from MY church were acting that way. So you baptists, methodists, and lutherans...SHAPE UP!

Good christian attitude, huh? ;)

*******************************
fun work conversations

S: So I'm getting my new car!

ESC: Oh really! Who won the battle of the colors?

S: I did - I'm getting my red car!

ESC: ahhh...did you convince him with your feminine whiles? Give him the big sad puppy eyes?

S: ummmm....noooo...I used....*another* way.....

ESC: ohhh....OHHHHHHH!!!! HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! YOU ARE SO EVIL!!!

S: if HE wants to have fun ever again...I get to have MY fun, too.

I work with AWESOME people.

*******************************
one is the loneliest number

Kev is extending his visit until Friday. Seems he wasn't feeling well all day, and therefore didn't get to do all the fun redneck things he usually gets to do while in alabama. basically, 4-wheeling.

yeeee-ha!

The visit was successful, though. He found a new car for his mom, WITH leather seats. HEATED leather seats.

This is the longest we've been apart since...the christmas before last. It's VERY DIFFICULT. I am CRAWLING THE WALLS.

It's funny, there are some weeks where the sex just doesn't happen. No REAL reason, we're just tired, or our schedules aren't synched, or...hey, is that an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force I haven't seen yet?

Give us a break, it's three years this month. It HAPPENS. It's not crazy monkey sex EVERY NIGHT. Hate to destroy that illusion you all have.

(OK, sometimes we have sex DURING aqua teen hunger force. YES, WE ARE JUST THAT KINKY!)

But NOW...when we CAN'T....ohhhh...CHRIST this is difficult.

Though the phone sex is nice.

ESC, don't eat it!

2006-02-28T00:29:00.000-05:00

BLATENTLY ripped off from The Sneeze.

Though I will NOT be eating pupae.

I was at my favorite indoor international farmer's market yesterday, and in the hippie, all natural section (HA! this is a joke - MOST of that place is hippie all natural) and stumbled across a package called "Nature's Burger."

A burger! In a box! Somehow, the makers fail to realize that cows are indeed a part of nature. But we will overlook this slight, and hope that the local Bovine Union doesn't get wind of this.

Anyway, since I'm all about the eating "healthy" lately, AND because I don't have a big hungry guy craving meat at home at the moment, I thought I'd pick it up. C'mon, wouldn't you? See how tasty it looks?

See the brand? "Fantastic." It HAS to be good! The first couple of ingredients are: brown rice, dehydrated vegetables, barley, organic bulgar wheat...and pretty much on from there. Again, note the lack of meat of any kind.

If you think that SOUNDS tasty, see what it looks like out of the box!

Looks a bit like cream of wheat. Or sand. But...and this is important...what it DOESN'T look like...AT ALL...is a burger.

The directions say add boiling water and let sit until it thickens and cools. That looks something like....this:

The cream of wheat illusion is even MORE convincing now. It smelled...OK. Kind of like...garlic cereal. Mmmmm...garlic cereal....

I pushed on, putting a small pan to flame with some olive oil and a few onion slices. I had already determined that the key to consuming "nature's burger" would be "masking the taste." So plenty of onions were in order! I shaped the mixture into a patty shape and started with the cookin'.

Now it looks SORT of like a burger. A burger made from a VERY anemic cow. This cow had issues. If it was a cow. But it's not. It's brown rice! And bulgar wheat!

Again, my strategy is "masking." Some cheese (gotta keep the bovine union happy), mustard, and onions, all on some whole wheat bread, and the burger illusion is complete.

Carefully...I took my first bite.

And...

and...

it is NOT BAD! Oh my god...it kinda ALMOST tastes like meat! I mean, I know I'm not eating a hamburger..but it COULD be one of those frozen chicken patties. The texture is soft, and the taste is...hearty. But not ricey or wheaty. Of course, there's the cheese, mustard, and onions to help the flavor along.

But all in all, I give this a big "thumbs up." Definately, some of the best hippie food I have ever eaten. I will eat this again, and what's more...I will make KEVIN eat it. and THAT will be the true test.

PS: I ate lunch at the little cafe they have there, and discovered something called "quinoa and black bean salad," which was SO FUCKING DELICIOUS, that afterwards, I promptly marched over to the deli counter and bought a pound of it to take home. I have NO IDEA what quinoa is (I'm thinking it's a grain - little, sprouted grains), but it is DELICIOUS. Might as well send me my burkenstocks now - I am SUCH a hippie.

Sunday night picture show

2006-02-26T22:42:00.000-05:00

suddenly, VH1 takes over this blog

You know who is REALLY having the Best Week Ever? Best TWO weeks ever, really. Andrea Bocelli. Seriously, I've seen more of this man in the past two weeks than I have for the past 6 years.

And what the hell...Avril Lavigne in the closing ceremonies? Seriously, Italy...you can do better.

****************************
the pampering continues

Today I got my hair cut! Now for gratuitous self-portraits!

the front, all grunged out and hanging over my eye. I have one with it tucked behind my ear (a must for any new haircut - MUST GET HAIR OUT OF FACE!) but my eyes were all psycho looking and scary, and OK if you REALLY want to see it, go here.

the back, all super short and layered

My hairstylist said my hair was "fun to cut." Apparently, nobody likes fun hair cuts anymore - all one length bobs and shit. Not me! If I'm going to shell out $30, make me look FUN!

Note that I'm still doing the reddish color. I should take a poll: keep it this color, or go back to blonde for the summer?

***********************
kaufen Sie Ihre Schokolade anderwohin!

I did a couple of favors for our Lab Goddess, driving her and her husband and son to and from the airport this week while they visted family in Germany. My thank you was some german chocolate. Mmmmm...tasty!

The bag on the right are rum truffles. And OH MY GOD, ARE THEY STRONG. Of course, that hasn't stopped me from eating a couple. The chocolate car is apparently a popular car in Germany. the box says "Heilemann Confiserie." Anyway, I'll bet it's pretty tasty.

Lab Goddess said she REALLY wanted to buy the chocolate for me from some really gourmet bakery and chocolate store, but was in danger of being thrown OUT for even DARING to ask if they had any chocolates that didn't contain nuts. (If you will remember, I have a severe nut allergy. A french chocolate put me in the emergency room once. STUPID FRENCH!). They were really rude about it, and informed her that she would have to wait until MONDAY when the person who made the chocolates came in. So screw that. She got me chocolates with readily available ingredient information somewhere else.

What I have learned, then, is:

1. Nut allerigies are very rare in Europe

2. Germans take their chocolate VERY SERIOUSLY. I would make a soup nazi/chocolate nazi comparison joke here, except that I also know that Germany takes Nazi jokes VERY UNFAVORABLY. See, cause they HAD them over there, and it didn't work out so well.

But the chocolates are nut free, and tasty. I will save the car for when Kev gets back (thursday), but those rum truffles are FAIR GAME!

LSC

2006-02-25T20:11:00.000-05:00

More conversations...

ESC: did you see my post about the oral hygeine order?

Kev: yeah.

ESC: Most people seem to floss AFTER brushing. then some weirdos brush again, but HA! I am RIGHT!

Kev: I'm still going to do it my way. Plus, maybe all those people who commented are wrong.

ESC: no. no...just you.

********************
watching the news about Cheryl Crow

ESC: ohh, that's sad. She's had a rough couple of months

Kev: how come?

ESC: She just broke up with Lance Armstrong.

Kev: oh yeah.

ESC: oh! maybe this will get them back together! He has one ball, and she'll have one boob! It'll be perfect!

Kev: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! You are so fucking MORBID!

******************************
very very quiet

I have become the "Lonely Science Chick" as Kev has gone to visit his family for a few days. We were supposed to go together for the weekend, but the memorial service for our choir director's partner was this morning, and I had a dematology clinic appointment that I had forgotten about (they only do them twice a month at the student clinic, so if you have to reschedule, expect a two to three month wait).

Kev decided to go anyway - it's his mom's birthday - and then stay a few extra days. She needs a new car, so he's going to find one for her - hopefully a gently used Highlander with *LEATHER SEATS.* He's found PLENTY of gently used highlanders she could have had by now, but she's insisting on the leather seat. I find this hysterical, since what she's driving around NOW is some ancient toyota that's falling apart with fabric seats and a lovely gray peeling exterior.

out of guilt for not going, I knitted her a quickie funky wrap, which she will either LOVE or absolutely hate, but never tell me.

anyway...I am on my own. and instead of using my first day of psuedo-singleness to go out on the town, have a girls night, or even clean up around the condo...

I spent most of the afternoon napping. In my PJ's. Now I'm watching the olympics*, still on the couch, and munching on a low fat, no sugar added Klondike bar.

ahhhhh...

********************
Half Nekkid...too late for thursday

I did have my spoiled moment Friday, as for the VERY FIRST TIME, I got a manicure and pedicure. This was my valentine's gift from Kev. I was a total dork at first, staring blankly at them when I was asked "did you pick your colors yet?" umm...was I supposed to do that?

My nails were done by a very young, very effeminate, asian guy, with a very distracting zit on his chin. Seemed to be a family business - his mom and two sisters were also working there. I think the certificate on his bench said that his last name was "Van Cham," so they were probably all from the lesser known Dutch section of Vietnam (or where ever).

Everyone was very nice and tolerant of my tard-ness. And of course, the experience was WONDERFUL and how long before I can do it AGAIN??? ahhhh....leg and foot massage....

The most impressive part was that he was able to find and paint my tiny, mutant toenails.

I opted for a light light natural looking pink on my fingernails - maybe I'll go funky some other time, but I didn't want to have hot pink nails at the memorial service today.

Maybe for my wedding, I'll get acrylic tips put on, and then I'll SCRATCH YOUR EYES OUT!

*Goddammit Bode, you are the biggest tard of all. SUCK IT!

Fun Friday Fact:

2006-02-24T15:57:00.000-05:00

I just realized that my panties are on INSIDE OUT!

Oh yeah...there's a party in my pants right now.

shaking down my readers for information

2006-02-24T10:20:00.000-05:00

First off...maybe my readers can settle an argument...well...not an ARGUMENT. That's too strong a word. Maybe solve the incessant picking-on that goes on between Kev and me.

PLEASE PLACE THE FOLLOWING IN THE CORRECT ORDER:

mouthwash
floss
brush

We argue...I mean pick on...each other ALL THE TIME about which way is correct. I ask YOU, the VOTING PUBLIC to help us out.

OK, now the shakedown for information. My car insurance is up in March, so I thought I shop around...AGAIN...for a better deal.

AllState is giving me a quote that is almost $200 less than what I'm paying now. What I'm paying NOW is $200 less than what I was paying with Progressive. So AllState is almost FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS less than AllState.

I am intrigued...

Yet concerned...

While I'd like to trust the friendly black guy/former president on "24"/deep soothing voiced announcer person they have for their commercials, I am suspicious of their low low rates.

They also quoted me a pretty low rate for insuring the contents of my condo and my ring, which if I buy from them, will give me even MORE of a discount on my car insurance.

And please don't ask me to check out Geico or 1-800 Safe Auto - RIP...OFF...ARTISTS! Jeebus christos, just becaues you FLOOD THE TV AIRWAVES with commercials saying your prices are low, does NOT MEAN YOU ARE!

They aren't. Don't fall for it.

So...does anyone actually HAVE car insurance through AllState? Is it any good? Any complaints? Anything suspicous? I need to know before I make my final decision.

Thanks!

A post with no mention of poop of any color

2006-02-22T22:25:00.000-05:00

Conversations with Julie, or why you all deseperaly want to IM chat with us ALL THE TIME!

Julie: Lori and I went to a sex shop last night, and now they have a mini-butterfly! for use "while having sex"

ESC: oooooo

Julie: yeah.

ESC: did you get it???

Julie: damn thing was $50, so I didn't get it, but I did drop a hint to Rick.

Julie: Who will probably not pick up on said hint.

ESC: hehehehehehe...nice

ESC: I have the bigger one

ESC: it's not a butterfly though...

ESC: I think it's a hummingbird?

Julie: "the bigger one" sounds so dirty.

ESC: *evil laugh*

Julie: do the antennae vibrate?

ESC: it's supposed to strap on, but I've never figured out the straps

Julie: wait, hummingbirds don't have antennae.

ESC: beak

Julie: ahhhh.

Julie: the girl showing it to us was like "Here, feel it's antennae! They're the best part!"

ESC: I think it's more designed for women who are built a little more....external than I am

ESC: antennae are probably nicer than a beak!

Julie: peck peck peck.

ESC : youch

Julie: obviously, you need a rabbit.

ESC: I HAVE a rabbit - did you not see my post?

Julie: that was the other thing she showed us. "Everyone comes in for the Rabbit or the Butterfly"

Julie: but it didn't look like the one she showed me last night.

ESC: it's a vibrator with a little clit buzzer thingie

ESC : right?

Julie: yeah, but the one she showed us last night had more pearls inside.

Julie: can yours switch directions?

ESC: yup

Julie: niiiice

ESC: the rabbit ears are too pointy, though

Julie: how scary looking is this:

Julie: and just what we all need, a LIGHT UP DILDO:

ESC: yikes!

ESC: this is what has been recommended to me

ESC: but yikes, it's expensive

Julie: that thing scares me.

Julie: it looks too hard.

Julie: and "golden spoon" attachment is just gnasty

ESC: there are different attachments

ESC: padded ones are supposed to be more gentle

ESC: I don't think this is they kind of toy you want to go butter churning with

Julie : EXACTLY.

Julie: this is not a toy for thrusting, boys and girls.

ESC: no, it's for gentle stimulation until you hover up to the ceiling and then go shooting across the room

Julie: dude, check this one out:

ESC: looks like it has an electric toothbrush attachment

Julie: which stretches up to a foot away.

Julie: in case you don't want full contact sex.

ESC: yes, I need my PERSONAL SPACE, PLEASE!

Julie: "okay, it's mutual masturbation time, but you stay OVER THERE."

ESC: and this is multitasking gone TOO FAR!

Julie: "also fills in nicely as a spanking toy" Uh huh.

Julie: guess you can get it through airport security no questions asked, tho.

ESC: some of these are just too weird

Julie: lol. Rick is always saying that he hopes my cell is on vibrate when he calls

ESC: beam me up, scotty....harder....HARDER! HAAARRRDERRRR!!!!

ESC: I like the name of this one: here's to you, Mrs Robinson INDEED!

Julie: what the hell is an N size battery?

ESC: I have NO idea

Julie: crazy. special batteries for sex toys.

ESC: walk into wal-mart and ask for THAT!

ESC: here are some toys that look like fallopian tubes

Julie: because *that's* sexy

ESC: it's sexucational!

I'm screwed

2006-02-21T20:57:00.000-05:00

I shop a lot at the Kroger by the Curves I go to. They've been doing some rennovation inside. I figured they were just spiffing up the bakery and deli areas.

Nope.

I saw the sign up today. Still covered by plastic.

"starbucks coffee"

bye bye, bank account.

Also, they've put in a Dellalo's antipasti bar - with different olives, roasted red peppers, little marinated mozerella balls.

Mmmmmm...

bye bye, diet.

I managed to avoid the temptation and just get the few things I went in there for. Which I realized, as I was checking myself out at the self-scanners, made me look like quite the crunchy dirty hippie.

gallon of skim milk
yogurt*
tilapia
OJ
turky bacon
two boxes of hippie cereal - you know, the kind you find in that special "all organic" section of the grocery store that cost about a dollar more per box than regular cereal, but only have half the amount in them. I got cinnamon oat sqares, and a flax & fiber cereal. Mmmmm...full of crunchy hippie goodness!

* I started buying that Activia yogurt, with extra bacterial culture goodness, as it's advertised to help regulate your digestive system. My digestive system has never been all that normal (I would call it "angry"), but ever since I started the diet, it's downright PISSED OFF at me.

3 CUPS OF SPINACH??? RAW???? ARE YOU NUTS WOMAN??? WHAT THE FUCK???? TO GET YOU BACK, I WILL COLOR YOUR POOP GREEN FOR 3 DAYS!!!!

ummm...TMI?

anyway...I'm hoping the yogurt will help.

domestic abuse

2006-02-20T15:47:00.000-05:00

conversations at work

N: I'm going to try to work on all this at home.

ESC: don't let your cat gouge you again *points to very deep scratch on her wrist*

N: ooooooh...he won't do that again. He just didn't want me to go to work.

ESC: you know, you always sound like a victim of domestic abuse when you defend your cats like that. Like "ohhh, I know my husband hit me, but it was my fault for forgetting his coffee"

N: it's not like that! it's a cat!

ESC: if my dog bit me for trying to leave for work, I'd kick her across the room! dogs don't get away with that shit.

N: dog bites are worse than cat scratches. this isn't so bad.

ESC: yeah, defending that cat again.

N: IT'S JUST A CAT! A VERY STUPID ONE, TOO!

ESC: whatever. enabler.

the weather outside is crappy

2006-02-19T19:58:00.000-05:00

It IS crappy. Cold, with that misty rain...

Nothing like slurping down a big steaming bowl of Italian wedding soup* while watching the Olympics. Maybe we'll put a log in the fireplace here in a bit.

Ahhhhhh....

*diet friendly! Turkey meatballs! Chunks of chicken breast! Plenty of spinach! Only a tiny bit of pastini (my one cheat)! Swirls of parmesean cheese and no-fat egg substitute! and STILL wonderful. Mmmmm...

but I do miss the big hunk of warm, buttery crusty bread to go with it :(

you mean, like, Prilosec?

2006-02-19T00:53:00.000-05:00

There is nothing that gets the adrenaline pumping than a very loud, authoritative knock on the door at 1am from the police.

yikes!!!

And there's an immediate feeling of fear and guilt. Oh my god...that library fine! they called the cops on me for not paying it!!! I think if a cop knocked on a NUN'S door unexpectedly, she would automatically look around to make sure contraband is put away.

"Those illegal downloaded mp3's of the pope's CD! they found out!!!!"

Anyway...I send Kev out (at this point, I don't know it's a cop) because Sadie is barking her fool head off and I have to get her in her crate.

I hear voices, and I peak out the door. Oh shit! It's the cops! What did we do????

"Uhh..babe? you wanna come out here?"

oh shit oh shit oh shit

The guy is short, and won't look at Kev. He looks directly at ME. "Ma'am, someone called a crises hotline and said they were taking a bunch of pills, and the number came back to this address."

Oh my god!

I assure the officer that everything here is fine. He's still glancing suspiciously at Kev - when Kev went out, he probably thought he was dealing with a domestic dispute. Kev had about 2 feet on him, and it probably made him nervous.

"no! really! I'm just knitting and watching TV. " then I thought for a sec..."Oh my god, maybe it's one of my neighbors?"

There's the party girl upstairs, the sisters downstairs, the extremely butch woman across from us....

None of them struck me as ever being suicidal, but you can tell from my intimate knowledge of them (hi, I don't even know their NAMES), I really have no idea.

Police guy is finally convinced that I am not suicidal, and leaves, saying that this kind of thing happens all the time. He also seems not all that worried that SOMEwhere out there, a woman may or may not have taken a shitload of pills in an effort to make her problems go away forever.

Scary.

I hope the protective angels are with her tonight.

saturday morning laziness

2006-02-18T13:58:00.000-05:00

Conversations at our house

Kev and ESC smooch

Kev: your breath smells like...basil?

ESC: should be mint.

Kev: more like basil.

ESC: it's that mouthwash. it should be minty.

Kev: well, then it's mint with something else.

ESC: ummmm...bacon?

Kev: that's probably it.

And before you yell at me for going off the diet...

turkey bacon!

Please ignore dirty stovetop background. They didn't even TRY to make this look like real bacon. SCALLOPED EDGES?

Surprisingly good, though. Very good real bacon flavor.

DIETERS DON'T KNOW IT'S NOT REAL BACON!!!

Last night I DID go off diet slightly, though. I was VERY good all day. I resisted pizza temptation. I resisted the 3rd friday departmental beer and snack fest. I was strong!

then I started craving mexican food. mmmm...mexican.

But I was good - I only had a few nachos at the table, and then my combo meal was all chicken and beans. Some carbs with the flour tortilla and the taco shell, but I didn't order rice. So go me! And I didn't leave all overstuffed silly like I normally do after mexican food. So DOUBLE go me!

****************
cool clicky of the day:

get seeds that have messages already etched on leaves when they grow! I WANT ONE!!!

*****************
NSFW clicky of the day:

The Ketchup Effect - warning, don't be drinking or eating anything, because you'll ruin your computer screen when you spray all over it. it's THAT FUNNY!

thursday fit as a fiddle!

2006-02-16T21:43:00.000-05:00

I'm most of the way through the "phase I" week of my diet, and I'm happy to report I'm down 3 pounds!

Yeah yeah, I KNOW! MOST OF THAT IS WATER WEIGHT!

Shut up and let me enjoy it, OK? Plus I got to have steak and shrimp for dinner, and I'm just enjoying the fact that I can eat STEAK and SHRIMP on a 12oo calories a day diet.

Speaking of steak....

There is a mall across the street from me. It is a ghetto mall - where punk ass kids in baggy clothes and expensive cell phones hang out and bother people. I don't go there.

Anyway, in the corner of the parking lot, near the road, there is a white tent set up. On the side of this tent is a big banner, with BIG red and black lettering proclaiming "20 RIBEYE $20," and underneath is what I presume to be pictures of said ribeye, along with a smaller "seafood!" proclamation.

I see people going in and out of this tent. Buying meat. MEAT! CHEAP MEAT! FROM A TENT! IN A GHETTO MALL PARKING LOT!!!

Am I the only one disturbed by this? Parking lot meat!

*shudder*

annnd one last thing. Julie made me socks! Remember on her blog, all the complaining about teeny tiny needles? Trying to induce guilt in me. HA! It was ALL WORTH IT!

Check out the AWESOME SOCKS!!!

Yeah, you are jealous.

But I'm SURE if you asked nicely, Julie would make you a pair! She loved making these SO MUCH, she can't WAIT to make them again. Especially if you have big feet, like me.

heehee!

new camera

2006-02-16T12:22:00.000-05:00

Thanks for your prayers, folks.

Now for an abrupt change of subject...

my new camera came today!

It is INFINATELY better - better zoom and pixelage, boots up faster...AND, my BIGGEST pet peeve with my old camera (also a cybershot), VERY QUICK recovery time after taking a picture, so you can take quick pics in succession. Also has a "steady cam" feature.

So are the pictures any better? Well, I JUST got it, so I haven't had much of an opportunity to take many pictures.

But here is a picture taken with the OLD camera:

and here's one taken with the NEW camera:

SEE HOW MUCH BETTER THAT IS????

The flash is a little better, and the camera angle is wider - these were both taken from the same distance away.

So I look forward to exploring the world with my new SPIFFY camera!

And...my first ever submission to HNT! Taken yesterday (with my old camera), a very small peek at my special Valentine's outfit...

...with my robe on. Damn, it was cold last night.

Enjoy!

request update

2006-02-15T12:28:00.000-05:00

Our choir director's partner has just been put in hospice care. The lung cancer came back full force just before christmas, and while they've been trying to fight it again with chemo, he's been too weak to get most of his treatments.

Unless he makes a miraculous turnaround, he might not make it for very much longer.

His name is Richard.

They've been together for over 45 years. (a big FUCK YOU to all you "gay marriage would ruin the santity of marriage" people. 45 fucking years...let's see YOUR relationship last that long.)

Please keep them both in your thoughts and/or prayers.

Thank you.

***************UPDATE*******************

Richard just died.

Please keep J in your prayers.

Thank you.

Spunk Bubbler

2006-02-14T21:51:00.000-05:00

There. Now I'LL get crazy google hits, too.

I was doing SO WELL today! My half cup of oatmeal and two pieces of canadian bacon (ok...it's HAM people...very thin, small, slices of HAM! stupid canadians), my lunch of turkey and swiss sandwich and also choked down some very tart raspberries. Afternoon snack of strawberries and cottage cheese.

mmmmm...

of course...the lab was full of chocolate. EVERYONE brought chocolate. Including some Harry and David's heart shaped truffles....

OK, I cheated and ate one.

Ok...two.

But that was it!

Then after working out, I ran to Kroger to pick up a few things. We were having baked salmon and broccoli for dinner - Curves diet! But...just because it was valentine's day...I picked up some shrimp sushi and a bottle of chardonnay.

I get home. On the table are a card with money and directions to get myself a pedicure and manicure, a pot of bright red gerber daisies, a small bag of truffles...and a bottle of wine.

Then Kev says as a treat, when he was out getting the wine, he bought some sushi...

great minds think alike! After a few truffles, sushi, a glass of wine...and THEN my recommended curves dinner....

OK, tonight was off the diet. But it was VALENTINE'S DAY!

Hope everyone had a great V-Day! And even if you aren't spending it with someone you love, hope you've got a good DVD rented, a package of oreos, and a big glass of chocolate milk to wash them down with to keep you company.

At least...that's how I used to spend MY valentine's day.

As for the rest of tonight...after I give Sadie a bath (god, she STINKS!), I plan on taking a nice hot bath myself...and then maybe slipping into something red and silky I bought for just this occasion ;)

gnaw

2006-02-13T20:42:00.000-05:00

I am hungry.

So very, very hungry.

I'm considering licking the sides of that bottle of hot sauce over there.

Why am I so hungry?

I am on a diet. The first real diet I have been on in I can't tell you HOW long. This diet is designed by Curves. I signed up for a six-week class that meets on Thursday evenings. We get a book that outlines the diet, provides recipes, shopping lists, and a day by day meal plan.

I can eat 5 times a day. 6 if you count the optional Curves protein shake. This sounds like a lot. It is not.

Not the first week, anyway. The first week is a 1200 calorie a day, 45% protein, 30% carb, 25% fat diet. 3 meals plus snacks. After the first week, the caloric intake is bumped to 1600 a day, and you stay on that until you reach your goal, or your weight "plateaus," in which case you move to stage 3, which isn't really dictated on a meal by meal basis, but just an "eat health and maintain" in order to get your metabolism back up to speed. Then you can start the process all over again.

Today was day 1 for me. I was going to start last week, but with my mom being here, and some already planned meals out with out of town friends, I decided it wasn't ideal to start a strict diet with all those temptations.

Then yesterday Kev made a delicious venison stew, served over brown rice. Healthy, but I wasn't sure how to fit that into my little diet spreadsheet. So I officially started today.

I've eaten 4 of my 5 meals.

I am hungry.

Is it time for my snack yet?

now?

ugh. all WEEK with this. and tomorrow is valentine's day! bleah!

*******************update*************************

last snack of the day: a couple slices of deli turky and a string cheese.

result: STILL HUNGRY!

may need my chocolate protein/vitamin shake thingy before bed. stuff is not bad, really.

cache my ass updated

2006-02-12T19:22:00.000-05:00

I had a big long post, about how I decided on a wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses...how my pastor at church rocks...my feelings on the winter olympics (including the phrase "the summer olympics can go suck a fish"), and my feelings on Michelle Kwan.

all

gone

for some reason, even though blogger SAID it was saving or caching, or whatever...it didn't. There was no "recover post" for me. Nothin' happened.

Damn.

I will leave you instead with a view of an almost done sock.

********************
jumping the tax refund gun slightly...

But it went on sale, and I had a gift certificate.

My baby should arrive in 3-7 days.

My...my...precccccciousssssssss

been put off long enough

2006-02-09T22:22:00.000-05:00

get yourself a clean pair of undies, because ESC ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS!!!!

sideshow bob asks:
Why are they called fingers when they don't "fing"?

And do you think that public schools, in addition to teaching the theory of gravity, should give time to teaching intelligent falling?

because they needed to call them somefing.

I think that schools should start putting the word "theory" after EVERYTHING they teach. "class, today we're going to to read 'Moby Dick' which is theorized to be written by Herman Melville, but which may have been also written by Jesus!" "Today we're going to learn about sentence diagraming theory, but sentences can also be organized by God!"

see how much less controversial that is? MUCH better!

*********************************
Kennneth asks:
What are your thoughts on open relationships? Can people have deep love form more than one person at a time? Do you think humans are monogamous by nature?

I have no problem with open relationships. I'm not sure that I myself can handle one...but for those people out there that can have them...kudos! And I don't believe on putting limitations on love - there is not one kind, so therefore, you can have love for more than one person. Just make sure that both of those people are willing to share you!

As for the nature of humans...I know just enough about human evolution to know that we are NOT monogamous by nature. that being said...using "it's not in our nature, honey!" to explain why you just cheated on your wife. As human beings, we are also able to rise above our nature. we can choose to be monogamous, and we can choose NOT to be. It's a conscious decision we make, not some animal instinct we can't control.

***********************************
Vince asks:
So, my question to the Evils is now that you guys are soon to be properly wed and no longer living "in sin" as it were, when can we expect the little Evils?

OK, first:*THWACK!*

Christ, people, we just got ENGAGED!

But yeah, I was expecting this. We are NOT planning on having kids right away. For our entire relationship, we've been pretty much poor. Making crap money, or no money, and our lives have kind of rotated around scraping by every month. We don't get to go out for fancy dinners, take exotic weekend getaways, spoil ourselves with indulgences. So really, it's almost like we already HAVE kids...only without the dirty diapers and soccer practices.

When I graduate, and we (most likely) leave atlanta, it will hopefully be for better jobs and lower cost of living. I'm hoping then we can enjoy some of the things that many couples take for granted...until they have kids, that is. I WANT THAT OPPORTUNITY!

THEN we'll have kids. OK?

and....*THWACK!!!*

**************************************
Sloth asks:
Who is your pick for Pwoject Wunway winner? Top three? I know mine!

How do you feel about censored Google?

I'm sorry...you must have me confused with someone who LIKE reality TV...especially TV about pampered stupid anorexic models.

and censored google SUCKS. Yahoo is sucking right now for putting outspoken Chinese activists in jail, and for threatening to charge for emails. And ISPs are sucking for trying to extort money from websites to give them preferential loading treatment.

the internet sucks right now.

****************************************
Nanner asks:
So, what are your feelings on Federal wiretapping?

I think the president is a royal fuckup, and that this wiretapping think is all a bunch of bull...

ummm...

I mean...I...think...that...wiretapping...is......neccessary....to...
protect....us....from...terr'ists...and...it's great!

yeah...great!

*****************************************
Gooch asks:
Are there any rules in place regarding what Kevin can and cannot do at his bachelor party?

He can't have sex with anyone. Unless it's with me. Orrrr....I'm in the room.

that's all.

************************************
Mikey asks:
What are your thoughts on the Hamas Palestinian gov't? Any hot bridesmaids gonna be at your wedding? What kind of hors deourves will you have? Have you seen Wedding Crashers? Those last three questions are unrelated.

1. Fuck Hamas. SUCK IT, HAMAS!

2. ALL my bridesmaids are hot. Unfortunately for you, two of them are happily married, and one has been with her boyfriends for...9 years now? So...you're SOL there.

3. I don't know...cheesey things...stuff on skewers...cookies.

4. nope.

*******************************
The Scoot asks:
What do you think about using switch grass to make ethanol?

what of Ron Michaelson, the frustrated banker on the Ditech commercials?

Mmmmm...switch grass cocktails...

And didn't I just read somewhere that he was interviewed on "inside the actor's studio?" That is creepy and wrong. That guy annoys the fuck out of me. the actor's studio guy annoys me, too.

****************************************
Anon asks:
Whose are your favorite blogs like as in top 3? When did you lose your virginity? What size shoe do you wear?

all conveniently linked on my sidebar:
1. Dooce
2. Mimi Smartypants
3. Erosblog

23

10

****************************************
Z asks:
Wedding Cake? chocolate? fondant? creme fraiche? armadillo cake á-la-Steel Magnolias?

Cake. With a selection of fruity sorbets on the side.

***************************************
Mark asks:
My girlfriend and I once tried a golden shower, she peed on me and I peed on her -- we only tried it one time just to experiment and it was kind of erotic! I just wish we had done it in the bathtub rather than on the bed -- the mattress still smells of urine! Any one else ever tried it?

Ummmmm....no.

no.

NO! IN THE BED????

at least pee in the SHOWER!

(true story - conversation in the shower the other night, right after kev got in to join me

Kev is facing away from me, towards the drain.

Me: *sniff sniff* do I smell...ASPARAGUS????

Kev: ummm...yeah.

Me: DAMMIT!

Now I must hide, because when he reads that I put that on my blog, he WILL kill me.)

****************************************8
Tracy asks:
If you and Kev both were offered your dream jobs, but at opposite ends of the country, which one of you would end up making the sacrifice of not taking the job. Or would neither of you take the job offered to make it fair?

Neither of us wants to move that far away, so I think we'd probably reject both jobs. We want to stay EAST SIIIEEEEEDE!

************************************
Dan asks:
1. Was Beaker a boy or a girl, and how do you know?
2. What's the worst movie you ever saw in the theater?
3. If money was no object, what would you drive?
4. What of donuts?

1. A boy. And there are some things I've done in my life that I am not proud of, and will not speak of here. I will just tell you that foam tastes TERRIBLE, and faux hair is really difficult to get out one's teeth.

2. Lawnmower man

3. me, DRIVE? I would have someone ELSE drive me around. In something obnoxiously sleek and expensive. But environmentally friendly.

4. Back in high school my best friend and I had this whole "philosophy of the donut" idea, brought on by sleep deprivation and too much caffeine. It was very silly, and only funny to the two of us...and I forget a lot of it, so I won't repeat it here. I will only say...

I am pro-donut.

hand waving

2006-02-07T19:39:00.000-05:00

Soon I will bring you the answers to your questions (still time to ask anything, though), horrifying tales of engulfing, suffocating satin and lace monsters at bridal stores, and other people's mothers that make me glad my mother is my mom...

but I am stupid tired right now.

So instead, click the pic below and enjoy the pictures from our visit to the Georgia aquarium on sunday.

w00t!

2006-02-05T22:27:00.000-05:00

ONE FOR THE THUMB, BABY!

Conversations with Mom

2006-02-03T10:49:00.000-05:00

My mother is here and everything's been going well. We managed to get the place looking SPARKLIN' CLEEEN before she got here, and amazingly enough...keeping UP with the cleaning. The dishes! Get done! Soon after dinner! And not! Three days later!

We're not PERFECT, though.

Conversation this morning

Mom: is this still GOOD after being out all night?

she's holding a jar of Kev's super hot sauce - it's some asian chili garlic paste with a rooster on the jar. i don't TOUCH the stuff...and neither would any bacteria.

Me: uhhh..yeah, that's fine. It's HOT sauce...nothing should be growing in there. I'll put it in the fridge, though.

mom looks doubtful and suspicious

3 minutes later...

Mom - holding up my large soup pot, which she had just washed - THIS still had PASTA WATER in it!

Me - oh. oops.

Mom - giving a final wipe to an already clean counter - There! Now I don't feel like I'm...surrounded by SALMONELLA!

Me - ...it was a jar of hot sauce and some pasta water...WHAT salmonella?????

Mom - it's just...DIRTY!

Me - it's not like we left RAW MEAT OUT ALL NIGHT!

Yeah, that's my mom.

We're going dress shopping today. Pray for me.

you've been WAITING FOR IT!

2006-01-30T18:18:00.000-05:00

This is going to be a busy week for me. Lots of stuff in the lab to do, plus EvilScienceMom is coming to visit. OK...technically she's EvilLibrarianMom. But that means much cleaning is to be done before wednesday. and then the delicate balance of working in the lab and then sneaking out early to do stuff with mom.

and what stuff will we be doing?

I will be looking for a WEDDING DRESS!

NOT this one:

Yikes! How does she get through doorways?

Also we will be experimenting with wedding invite designs. To save money, AND because I'm NOT having one of those 500 guest wedding extravaganzas, we're making the invitations. And probably putting together a guest list. hoo-ray. The obscure cousins and great uncles come out of the woodwork.

Oh well, as long as they send presents...

I'm such a bitch!

So on to the point....as I will be bery bery busy this week, and probably neglecting my blog somewhat, I think now is a good time for another installment of ASK THE EVILS!

You can ask any question you want of me or Kev. You can ask for advice! Further details on juicy stories! Opinions on world political events! Anything! Ask away! You have all week. Probably longer - ESM doesn't leave until next tuesday. So have fun, folks!

a small rant

2006-01-30T13:06:00.000-05:00

yet somewhat ambiguous, as it is work related and I don't want to get Dooced...

OH MY GOD, GET YOUR OWN DAMNED NAILCLIPPERS AND STOP ASKING TO BORROW MINE EVERY DAY! IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE EVEN CLIPPING ONE LITTLE HANGNAIL, YOU STAND BY MY DESK AND GIVE YOURSELF DAMNED MANICURE. IT'S DISGUSTING, AND I HAVEN'T USED MY CLIPPERS IN WEEKS BECAUSE OF YOU! I SHOULD PROBABLY BOIL THEM, BUT THEN YOU'LL JUST ASK TO USE THEM AGAIN! GO TO FUCKING CVS, PLOP DOWN 99 CENTS AND BUY YOUR OWN FUCKING MINI CLIPPERS!!!

GAH!

the crafty insanity continues!

2006-01-28T18:38:00.000-05:00

So I've got my little side business making beaded stitch markers. VERY side...a few orders so far. I'm hoping to expand just a bit - I'm going to make a few sets and see of my local yarn store (or LYS, as they're known in snobby knitter circles) will keep a few laying around to see if they sell.

In anticipation of this, I bought a shit load of beads, and a bead organizer.

See?

Color coordinated and all in one place. Ahhhh...I love organization. Especially when it's easy.

And then I started staring at the beads and wondering what else I could do with them, and while I KNOW I'll never have the mad beading skilz of our dear Nanner, I started toying with the idea of making something that's been rattling around in my head, ever since I got engaged.

See, I'm not USED to wearing rings on my fingers. And I'm a bit paranoid - especially at work. When I work with sketchy chemicals and have to put on gloves...sometimes the ring pokes through, and I don't want to get any nastiness on it!

Also, because my ring has a carved band, it tends to collect gunk. Like hand lotion and my eczema ointment. Gross.

So I take off the ring off my finger, and paranoia sets in. RING ON THE LOOSE! NOBODY MOVE! NOBODY TOUCH ANYTHING! It's right...THERE! THERE!! DON'T DROP IT...AWAY FROM THE SINK....GAH! THAT WAS CLOSE!

This is not good for my nerves.

I have an Old Navy lanyard that I use to clip my work keys onto during the day. Wouldn't it be nice to have something similar, but PRETTY, to clip my ring to? Then it would be safe and secure around my neck, and I could even tuck it inside my shirt when the nasty chemicals come out.

Genius!

So, I give you...

my beaded ring holder!

I used a leather cord, and what a PAIN to string all those beads on it. But it works, and I think it's pretty.

I'm going to keep my eyes out for a charm that I can clip to it, so that when the ring is on my finger (99% of the time) it will still be a pretty necklace.

so...what do you think?

SOCK!

2006-01-27T00:20:00.000-05:00

I'm working on my first sock evah!

you are jealous.

and GET OFF MY LAWN!

2006-01-26T17:07:00.000-05:00

I have become an old, cranky party pooper.

HOOORAY!

I got home last night a little after 9pm. Kev was nowhere to be found, and Sadie was REALLY happy to see me. Clingy, even.

The reason for the clingyness soon became clear. Our upstairs neighbor was having a party.

The upstairs unit had been empty for a while, and then one day we started hearing thumps and bumps, and occasionally saw a late-middle aged couple in the thru-ways. Hooray! Units are selling, and with someone upstairs we'll save on our heating bill a bit!

Then late middle aged couple disappeared,
and young college girl showed up. At first I thought maybe she was just visiting from school...but no. I think she lives there. By herself. Mommy and daddy bought her a condo to live in.

This is typical for undergrads at this school (I know she goes here - I saw her wearing a sweatshirt with the name on it). Lotsa richie kids. Spoiled, an over-inflated sense of entitlement, and an "i'm going to be a fucking DOCTOR one day, whaddaya MEAN I got a fucking A MINUS????"

anyway...spoiled college girl threw a part last night. Not a cocktail hour...a college party.

So this is what I was greeted to when I got home:

WWWWWAAAAAMMMMMMMMME
MMMMMMEMMMMMMMMBBBBB
BBBBRRRMMMMMMM....MMMMM
MWWWWAARRRRRRRRRRRRMMM
MMMMMMMRRRMMMRMMMRRRR

*group of voices*

HOORAY!

*drunk guy*

WOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!

*cue awful music with loud base again*

WWWWWAAAAAMMMMMMMMM
EMMMMMMEMMMMMMMMBBB
BBBBBBRRRMMMMMMM.....*ahhhhhh*
.........MMMMMM*dammit!*WWWWA
ARRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMM
MMRRRMMMRMMMRRRR

Rinse...repeat....and repeat....and repeat....

Sadie was now velcroed to my leg. The music had a lot of base, and it was kind of vibrating around. It wasn't even GOOD music. Typical punk ass kids.

Now I like a good party, and good lord knows, in my college days, I loved THAT kind of party. But I don't live in a dorm anymore, and I bought a condo and moved out of my apartment to get AWAU from all the college kids for whom "sleep" and "work" are foreign concepts.

Kev came home, and we discussed what to do. technically, according to the condo covenants, you can be somewhat noisy until 11pm. I had a feeling I could still legitimately complain....but I didn't want to be TOO much of a buzzkill.

I gritted my teeth, and held on until 11. Bitching under my breath the whole time. IT'S WEDNESDAY NIGHT, PEOPLE! WHO HAS A PARTY WEDNESDAY NIGHT???? GODDAMMIT!!!!

Finally, it was 11:20, and drunk college kids showed no sign of slowing down.

We contemplated calling the police, but I decided to give them a fair chance.

I made Kev go up and knock on the door.

THIS IS WHY WE LET BOYS LIVE WITH US! TO KILLS SPIDERS, FIX THE SINK, AND KNOCK ON NEIGHBOR'S DOOR TO COMPLAIN!

Plus Kev is an intimidating looking kind of guy. even a drunk punk ass kid would have second thoughts about ignoring his request.

While he was up there, he got a good peek in the window. Lots of kids, all drinking...some sleeping...most being loud.

But it broke up after he asked that they keep it down. the music went off, and we could here THUMP THUMP THUMP....WHAM! *giggle* THUMP...*trip* THUMPTHUMPTHUMP down the steps and out to the parking lot...

then we heard...

WEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEOOOWEEEEEEE
OOOOOOEEEEEEOOOOEEEEEOOO

a car alarm! Not mine. I peeked outside...drunk kids, laughing...getting into cars.

Oh geez...I told myself SURELY one of them is a designated. Right?

but then....quiet.

ahhhhh.....

I am SUCH a bitch.

again!!!

2006-01-25T17:11:00.000-05:00

It happened again. I was in the bathroom, in one of the two stalls. The other stall was already occupied.

The occupant flushed the toilet, opened up the stall...and then...

...walked out the door of the bathroom.

without.

washing.

her.

HANDS!

ew.

ew. ew. ew!

we work in a LABORATORY BUILDING PEOPLE! YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER!

that is more stupid than doctors who smoke, and a LOT GROSSER!

**********************************
some kind of torture

we're all hungry right now. I'm hungry.

There is a jar of salsa in the lab right now, unopened. Some genius at USBiologicals started including a bottle of USBiologicals salsa with every order. It's kind of geek funny - the list of ingredients is given as a chemicals list. There is also a recipe for "Dave's chili." Thank you Dave.

However this SAME marketing genius opted to not include a bag of chips.

So here we sit. Hungry.

All kinds of salsa with no one to chip.

a rant out of nowhere

2006-01-24T14:01:00.000-05:00

I am addicted to the various "animal cop" type shows on Animal Planet. I am not sure why. Because nothing gives you that unsatisfying sucker punch to the diaphram quite like ANOTHER "the da office decided not to prosecute due to lack of evidence" story in which some dog was tortured to death with cigarette burns and sulphuric acid by stupid punk ghetto kids who will grop up to be serial killers and rapists, and there NOTHING to be done about it because there is NO ACTUAL VIDEO COVERAGE OF IT HAPPENING, JUST THE EYEWITNESS STATEMENT OF A DOZEN RESIDENTS.

Sometimes I just want to go ahead and kick people so hard their mamma dies.

Anyway, my rant is not about these people. It's about the vets and staff they have at the various humane societies featured in these shows. I will start out by saying that these people are awesome. they volunteer, or work for very little pay, at a job that must be so depressing 6 days out of 7, bearing witness to the deepest, darkest evil of human nature that would abuse perfectly innocent animals in the name of fun, or boredom, or total lack of interest and concern.

these people are fucking heros to me.

But...I have a beef.

If you watch these shows, there is the point in every episode, after the dirty, starving, thin, beat up dog is finally rescued from the horror of its life, brought to the shelter, cleaned up, wounds bandaged, and hunger satisfied. After all this...they always do a "test" to determine if this dog is able to be adopted out.

One of these tests is always the "food aggression" test, where they give the dog a bowl of food, and then take a fake arm and touch the food, pull away the bowl, and touch the dog.

Sometimes the dog totally ignores the hand.

But sometimes it growls and snaps. Because it's a dog. That's been beated and starved. And then "ohhhhh...what a shame. He'll have to be put to sleep because we would just not be comfortable putting him in a home where he could bite someone. Or injure a child."

wtf?

First off, it's a dog's instinct to try to bite a hand that messes with his food. Alot of dogs are fine with it, but this is why EVERYBODY knows (or SHOULD know) that you don't mess with a dog's food while they're eating.

"oh ESC! what if the dog bit A CHILD!!!! OHHHH NOOOOO!!!"

And that is why:

1. you NEVER leave your child unsupervised with a dog
2. as soon as that kid is old enough to comprehend the word "no," you teach them to NEVER EVER EVEY TOUCH DOGGY'S FOOD BOWL. the same way you teach them to not touch the oven, or mommy's ugly glass birds of the world collection. You smack their hands and say NO.

But no, instead of expecting people to have a speck of intelligence, they put the dog to sleep. I understand if the dog viciously attacks that fake hand, ripps it off it's wooden dowel and shreds it to bits. Maybe that is not the dog you want to take on family picnics. But a dog that growls and snaps at you...THAT dog is NORMAL!

Dude, if you try to fuck with my food if I've been starved for months, I will EAT THAT HAND!

Also...Sadie would fail that test.

She doesn't mind so much if you touch her food bowl while she's eating. But if you touch HER...she freezes, every muscle in her body tenses, and she lets out a string of growls to scare the evil out of Satan himself.

"rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrragagagagagagaaaaaaaoouww
wwwwwwllllllrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeooooooooooowww
wwwwwwwgggggggggggggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

how do I know this? It's how Kev and I find entertainment.

"hey sadie! gimmie that!"

"rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

she has never bit either of us. I don't think she ever would - it's not in her nature to bite. Oh, but she puts on a scary enough show.

And if we have kids one day, and I catch THEM pulling that same stunt, you better BELIEVE their ass is getting beat for it.

If the atlanta humane society had done that same test on Sadie, she would never have passed. She would have been put to sleep, and I would have ended up with some lame, totally less cool and unwonderful dog.

thank god for the incompetance and uncaring of southern humane societies.

anyway...that's the end of my "out of nowhere" rant.

back to work

one for the thumb

2006-01-23T13:42:00.000-05:00

STEEEEELERS!!!

digging for information and a poll

2006-01-22T01:23:00.000-05:00

So one of the (few) tasks given to Kevin during the whole "weddin' plannin' thing" is the honeymoon.

Anyone who's met Kev knows that the man likes a bargain. No...strike that...IS WHOLELY OBSESSED with finding a bargain. He wants to get a good deal on this honeymoon.

I want to have fun and relaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax. Preferably on a beach. With maybe some deep sea fishin' thrown in for fun (on a boat serving wine, of course).

We've looked a little into the Sandals resorts. We both likey the "all inclusiveness" of it - drinky drinks, food, and some activities included in the total price. But we do have some concerns. Will we be bored out of our skulls after one day? And Sandals does seem kind of cliche for a honeymoon...maybe we should try someplace unexpected and weird! Like Thailand!

So I decided to throw it out to blogland friends and complete strangers. Because that's what the internets is for! That...and porn!

mmmm...delicious porn.

So! My questions for my dear readers (and that includes YOU LURKERS, TOO!) are...

1. if you ever been to a Sandals resort, how was it? Can you spend a week there without getting totally bored and attempting escape?

2. what are some places bloglanders have been on their honeymoons/romantic getaways, and would you recommend these locations?

3. OK, you've never been to Sandals, had a honeymoon, or been anywhere romatic (I am sooo sorry)...if you had your fantasy, where would YOU go?

Englighten me, blogland! Remember, the better the honeymoon, the BETTER the pictures will be when I post them. I'm only thinking of YOU, THE READER! So if you wanna see pictures of a drunk ESC, half nekkid and lying out on the beach with 3 midgets and a zebra...TELL ME WHERE WE CAN DO THAT!

2 things

2006-01-20T21:50:00.000-05:00

Today I learned the ultimate in multitasking. I can sit on the toilet and spray Scrub Free mildew and Scrub Free soap scum onto the tiles in the shower AT THE SAME TIME!

I am talented.

And since I had nice, clean, and mildew free shower tiles and bathtub, I decided to take a bath. Ahhhh....something about taking a hot bath after a long, dirty day....

I feel so CLEAN!

And...smoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooth ;)

oh sweet sweet heaven

2006-01-19T20:24:00.000-05:00

Have you ever eaten anything SO GOOD, that when you finished it, you were sad, because it was all gone? And part of you wanted to throw it up, JUST so you could eat it ALL OVER AGAIN???

I just did. I mean, I didn't throw up anything. But I had a meal THAT GOOD.

We ate at a potential reception place today. It's a french/german restaurant that's not so close to the church as I'd like.

BUT

The food...was...soooo....damn...good.

I had beef wellington. an INDIVIDUAL beef wellington. It was ADORABLE! Wrapped in its own little puff pastry! And the tenderloin inside was like...buttah.

Kev had veal marsala. Also very tasty. And our waiter was a hoot. I think he might have been italian or spanish.

"You take your time...you read the menu, yes? you ask me ANYTHING! You ask the waiter! Anything! Ask me what is good, I TELL you what is good! But you take your time, right? But if you need me, you just call over 'Oscar!' and I come! OK? You look at menu. Ask me ANYTHING."

and on like that. When I asked about the beef wellington, I thought he was going to orgasm RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF US!

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHH..the BEEF WELLINGTON! Everything! the beef wellington! I would not trade the beef wellington for ANYTHING! Yes! The beef wellington!"

So you see I had to get it.

So yeah, we have a front runner in the search for a reception locale. Just thought I'd keep THIS group updated, as I seem to be spending a lot of time over at the wedding blog. Sorry about that. But really, not a whole lot has been going on that is NOT wedding related in my life. I'm hoping once the really big decisions are out of the way, I can return to normal life.

And that will be in....November. After the wedding. That sounds about right.

craving

2006-01-18T23:35:00.000-05:00

I need to stop watching food network. It's almost midnight, and I'm CRAVING A HOTDOG!!!

mmmmmmmm

with mustard.

*droooool*

uhh...it's for a friend...

2006-01-17T13:05:00.000-05:00

Nothing like heading down to the school's lunch stand, ordering a 12 inch roast beef sammich with mayo and cheese, "combo" it with some doritos and a drink...and then turn around and realize that your doctor is in line right behind you.

this is the conversation you have in your head:

Yeah...that diet is going GREAT doc. Oh...this? It's not mine. It's for a friend.

OK, it's mine...I'm only eating half today! The rest is for tomorrow! and look! I'm getting a diet coke! DIET!!! WHY AREN'T YOU LOOKING AT ME????

MOTHER!

2006-01-15T18:46:00.000-05:00

IF YOU DECIDE TO NOT GIVE ME A BUDGET TO WORK WITH BEFORE SENDING ME OUT INTO THE WILDERNESS BY MYSELF TO FIND A RECEPTION SITE DO NOT GET ALL BITCHY AND SURPRISED AT ME WHEN THE NUMBER I COME BACK WITH DOES NOT FIT INTO YOUR MAGICAL "SECRET" BUDGET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but now I have a budget. and it's back to the drawing board.

*sigh*

I am in love!

2006-01-14T22:00:00.000-05:00

It was love at first site, really. As soon as my eyes caught that glint...it was all over for me. Handsome....black....tough...compact body...

I WANT....I NEEEEEED....the LOOOONGING is TOO MUCH!!!!

will my love be requited? WILL MY PASSIONS GO UNFULLFILLED????

I guess I'll know when I get my tax return.

Isn't he dreamy?

click the pic for details.

Anyone want to contribute to the "Buy ESC a cool camera" fund?

No?

Guess I'm waiting for that tax return, then.

conversation #1038

2006-01-13T23:29:00.000-05:00

watching TV, a girl wearing all pink, sitting in a very pink bedroom, appears on the screen.

Kev: Whoa. too much. that's pinker than pussy.

Me: now WHY would you come up with that comparison???

Kev: I don't know.

later

Kev: actually, her shirt is more coral than pink.

pause

Me: I think that's the gayest thing you've ever said.

Kev: I was JUST THINKING THAT!

OK, I lied

2006-01-13T22:40:00.000-05:00

I lied in my comments in the last post. I did have some time to tweak around my template. of course, I SHOULD have used that time to knit. Or clean. But something like that just eats at me. TEMPLATE PROBLEMS! POOR, DEPRIVED READERS WHO CAN'T VIEW MY BLOG PROPERLY!

I am nothing but a fan whore.

So I tweaked. New people and regulars who had trouble before - please let me know how it looks. The banner at the top looks weird in IE, but I'm not sure what to do about it. And if you have 800 x 600 screen resolution....well...good luck.

**********************
and boy howdy, if I thought the place I looked at yesterday was expensive...today's was even more. Yikes! It's a beautiful venue for a reception...but I think it's too pricey. Plus no attached hotel for drunken friends.

And no comped hotel room for the bride and groom....I mean....COME ON!

< / end wedding rambling >
**************************
Enough of that.

Miserable week in science.

There is construction work going on in our hallway - they're renovating the lab space adjacent to ours. They're also doing something funky to the ventilation, and on tuesday, we had some kind of weird wind tunnel effect when our front door was open. The pressure would actually prevent the door from closing, and we had a strong breeze blowing through the lab.

Carrying construction dust.

Over the media plates I was using for my experiment.

Of the 300 plates I used in my experiment...I would say that 270 of them were complete covered in...NOT beautiful and perfectly round and happy yeast colonies...but A SOLID LAWN OF WHITE FUZZ.

contaminated. I would suspect it was the water, but there were a few plates unscathed. Must have been the air flow bringing in dirty air from next door. GODDAMIT!!! A waste of a week. Nothing was usable. Even the few left clean don't help me.

Also a bad week in science in general. EVERYONE is talking about the scandal in Korea. We have a Korean post-doc in the lab, and she's REALLY taking it hard. Not that we're disappointed that there aren't any cloned stem cells...but the fact that they LIED! and SO MUCH other unethical stuff - coercing female techs in the lab into giving up their eggs...ugh. And right now...SCIENCE DOESN'T NEED THIS! Science is already in the limelight for the whole evolution thing. We're gaining ground there. But this puts EVERYONE'S credibility in question.

not that we aren't perfectly aware that there are certain labs (which shall be unnamed here, don't wanna get Dooced) that have stretched their data a little thin. Made sweeping conclusions on flimsy results, and only got published because they're in the national academy, or know someone on the editorial board.

But something THIS huge hurts us all. I can't even believe they thought they would get away with it! CLONED HUMAN STEM CELLS?? SURELY NO ONE WILL DOUBLE CHECK THAT!

And then there is the tool from University of Pittsburgh who, once the scandal broke, requested that his name be removed from the paper.

What a jackass. If your NAME is on a paper, you'd better be DAMNED sure that you were actively involved in confirming results, you've gone over the date critically, and are sure that the conclusions are solid. That's why your name is on the paper, even if you didn't personally do the work. You were consulted. You gave opinion.

If you FAILED to do any of this, and just decided that it would REALLY inflate your ego and boost your career to have your name on a GROUNDBREAKING paper, and you didn't do your homework...

tough shit. You dug your own grave there. and it's POOR FORM to all of a sudden say "oohhhh...I don't want my name associated with this scandal." You go down with the ship, asswipe.

But that's just my opinion.

**************
And ummm...for those that came over here from Erosblog looking for more sex posts...

ummm....

boobies?

sorry. my blog isn't consistantly naughty. it isn't consitantly anything.

Not sure how it happened...

2006-01-12T22:20:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it. I was always so...uncaring about the whole thing. Yeah, whatever. I want a simple affair. really, I just want a small party. Hang out with friends. Casual. Relaxed. No stressful planning.

but I have become...

Psycho wedding planner.

Seriously, it's all I can think about. I can't eat at a restaurant without thinking "I wonder if this would do for a rehearsal dinner?" I can't hear a band without thinking "Wonder if they do weddings?" I can't even TALK to anyone without mentioning the wedding at LEAST once.

I do not want to be this person.

I do not want to be Psycho Bride. Bridezilla. Bride of Frankenstein (hehehehe...that makes Kev frankenstein. what would that look like?)

Once I get the reception place worked out, things will calm down. For two weeks. Then my mother comes to visit, and we have to fit a ton of crap into a week: dress shopping, invitation design (we're making our own), maybe some rehearsal dinner investigation.

I did meet with one potential reception place today. I'm not going into all the details here, but let me just say: wow. weddings are expensive.

OK, I'm not going to bring up the wedding again.

Tonight I went out with some girls from the lab. We ate a very nice dinner at Eurasia. Mmmm...lamb chops, japanese veggies, and rice. Then to a little coffee shop called Java Monkey for some live music. The quartet that performed KICKED ASS. Beautiful harmonies. Gospel, a little doo wap. A little folk. Awesome.

Wonder if they do weddings?

*SMACK!*

Anyway, I put myself on their mailing list. I'd LOVE to hear them again.

Also, apparently there is free live music every week at Java Monkey. Why was I too lazy to know this??? I'm definately going back. And dragging Kev with me.

And they're too small for the reception.

*SMACK!*

jeebus...hang on to your bandwidth!

2006-01-11T16:33:00.000-05:00

I have been erosblogged!

The last time I was breifly mentioned, my counter went nuts.

The first and most infamous time, photobucket died on me.

If I decide to make the Toy Review a regular feature (and OH HOW I WANT TO!), I'd better invest in some better file storage for my template!!!

yet another conversation at our house

2006-01-10T23:42:00.000-05:00

*rattling noises coming from the kitchen*

Me: *accusing* HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE!!!!

Kev: putting together YOUR LUNCH for tomorrow.

Me: oh. ohhhhh sweetie, I love you soooo much!!! and you penis is soooo big!!! you are sooo wonderful!!!

Kev: UH HUH! THAT'S RIGHT!

toy review

2006-01-09T18:23:00.000-05:00

OK, this again is one of those posts that maybe my "real life" friends might want to skip over, to avoid that "searing image in the back of the brain" thing we talked about. Also this post contains pictures that are NSFW...so read at your own risk.

are you gone? good.

So last friday, Kev and I decided to go out for dinner. Alas, a pre-christmas eating-out splurge depleted us of our savy shopper coupons. YES WE USE COUPONS! Luckily, Kev remembered a place we had been to a few months ago that had a STACK of extra savy shoppers laying around. That place happened to be an adult store catering to women. You know, where we bought the riding crop :)

But we couldn't just WALK IN and grap the coupon book without BUYING anything, right? The main part of the store is clothing based - sexy lingerie, lots of leather and feathers, funky super-heeled shoes, etc. But there is a small back room that has the fun toys. You know, the "for novelty use only" stuff. Riiiiiight.

That's where I spotted this:

a jackrabbit style vibrator! I've never had one, and it always seems to be THE MUST HAVE TOY for all women. So I had some money I got for christmas (thanks, grandma!) and a coupon for 15% off (the savy shopper again. YES! COUPONS FOR SEX TOYS!), so I plunked down the $40 and off we went with our new toy!

amusing aside: the woman who rung up the toy informed me that this was a very good jackrabbit toy for "beginners." Apparently, only EXPERIENCED jackrabbit users should utilize the purple colored ones with the plasta-chromed bottom that cost $10 more. Remember that, folks. Stick to sex toys APPROPRIATE for your skill level.

First we went to our favorite noodle place for thai food. Mmmmmm...spicey!

When we got home, it was time to play! First, let's read the warning label.

So noted! No skin eruptions here! I skipped the part about consulting a physician. Somehow I think Dr. M could go without the knowledge. He'd probably approve anyway. And I didn't need a prescription to buy it, right? Notice again the warning in all caps" SOLD AS A NOVELTY ONLY. Yep, a novelty. I'll just set it right here on my coffee table and use it as a conversation starter....

right.

Now that we're properly aware of the risks of using the "top-tough" (hehehehehe), let's see what it looks like.

It's cordless, with the somewhat confusing controls on the bottom there. There's a button to start the little rabbit vibrating, there's a button for "low" and "high" vibration, there's a button to turn on the pearled section rotation, and there's a button that controls the DIRECTION of rotation.

This might be too much to figure out blindly, using it by yourself. I recommend getting a partner. Fortunately, I have one handy, who was MORE than willing to assist me. Eager, even, despite his moaning: "I have been replaaaaaced!"

After a liberal application of lube, we began the experimentation. SHIT lube is cold right out of the tube! Someone should make a little lube-warmer device. Like a crock pot for astro-glide.

Anyway, initially, it seemed everything was hitting the right spots. The rabbit was RIGHT THERE, vibrating away, and the rotating pearls were rotating their little hearts out. But after a while, I noticed that the pointy ears of the rabbit were really kind of digging in my skin. I had Kev shift it down a bit...but then the motor controlling the rotation really started making an awful grinding noise. Eventually, I had to move my finger underneath the ears to keep them from digging into me.

The rotation motor doesn't seem all that powerful, either. Any kind of muscle contraction down there really bogs it down. Is it weird to demand more horsepower in a sex toy? I suppose the more expensive models (you know, the ones for MORE EXPERIENCED users) might have more power in them.

The problem with the rabbit's ears should be easily fixed by snipping off the tips. Overall, though, I was a little disappointed in the faux-jackrabbit's performance. The way people talk these things up, I was expecting an orgasm to hit me THE SECOND I REMOVED IT FROM THE BOX...but alas, it was not so. It really took some manuevering to find a comfortable position, and the motor just doesn't seem equipped to handle much resistance.

Overall, I'd give it a B-. Maybe after a few times using it, I'll become more comfortable with it and more relaxed, in which case I might up its grade a bit. And it's entirely possible that this particular model isn't all that a jackrabbit can be. Maybe one day I can aspire to the MORE EXPERIENCED model.

I'm interested to know if any of you have used a similar toy, and what your experience was with it. Please let me know in comments - you can be anonymous if you're embarassed ;)

congratulations!

2006-01-08T21:44:00.000-05:00

I think the reason that women enjoy being engaged so much is the never ending stream of compliments and congratulations you get.

"you're engaged! congratulations!"

THANK YOU! I have done NOTHING worthy of congratulations, but I will TAKE IT!

Until today, randomly, the guy bagging my groceries at Publix asked me out of the blue "so you're getting married soon?"

huh? wha? how did he....?

oh.

God I'm such a dork. I had just come from the Georgia Bridal Show, and was still wearing my "Bride To Be" pink heart shaped sticker. Which I had on THE WHOLE TIME I WAS AT PUBLIX!

Dork.

DORK DORK DORK!

But yeah. Thanks, kind bag boy! Then, of course, comes the next dreaded question. From the friendly cashier lady of Indian descent.

"when is the date?"

"umm...october"

"ohh...why are you waiting so long?"

WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HAVE TO DO, LADY! I let her go with that, assuming it was cultural, and that maybe Indian weddings only take a few days to plan.

Maybe I should have hired her to do my wedding.

OK, and I should make a confession here. I am going to do my best to NOT blab on and on about wedding plans on this site, because I KNOW you didn't come here for that. You came for my NEXT post, which will be a sex toy review. (true!) If, however, you are ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED by the news that you will not be able to read about my ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS (read: "crazed and panicked") wedding plans...I have good news.

I started a wedding blog.

It is under a completely different blogger account, with no reference whatsoever to this one. Because my MOTHER knows about it. I have set haloscan comments to not show website addresses of commenters, and I HOPE TO GOD I remember to reset the haloscan cookie and comment under my real name and real-life email address, before my mother asks who this ESC person is.

If you want to read this fascinating account, you can email me and I'll send you the address. However, if I don't really "know" you, please don't get upset if I say no. the wedding site site will have more personal details than this site, and I don't neccessarily need every stalker out there knowing exactly where my reception is, etc.

But for those of you that could give two kitty shits, then rest assured, you can still come to "...but mostly rants" for your daily dose of mostly boring ramblings with the occasional naughty bits I throw in to make sure you're not dozing off. Because that's the kind of quality you've come to expect from "...but mostly rants!"

DORK!

conversations at our house

2006-01-07T20:41:00.000-05:00

Me: God, everyone at curves this morning was all "IT'S SO COLD! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT GOT SO COLD!" and I just want to yell at these people "IT'S JANUARY! DUH!" Morons.

Kev: They're just making conversation. You knoooowww...we could move to Miami where it's warm. We could be lounging on the beach right now...

Me: Uh huh. getting eaten by ALLIGATORS!

Kev: pfft. You just know where the alligators are and avoid those places!* When I was growing up, I went water skiing, went swimming all over, I never had a problem.

Me: yeah. The problem is, alligators MOVE. They MOVE to the next lake over. A lake that's gator free WON'T be gator free forever!

Kev: oh, stop.

Me: And how people realize that there's now an alligator in their lake is ALL THEIR DOGS GET EATEN!

Kev: hehehehehe...

Me: UH HUH! NOT FUNNY! QUEEQUEG**!!!

Kev: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!! That's so not funny, that it's FUNNY! HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!

*because alligators post notices when they move in.
**if you get this reference, congratulations. you are as big a geek as we are.

Don't you hate it when...

2006-01-06T16:03:00.000-05:00

...you walk into an empty stairwell, and think "whew! alone at last! now I can dig out that thong wedgie that's been bugging me!" only to remember a few seconds too late that the entire back wall of the stairwell is made of glass, and anyone looking out their window in the next building over just got a nice view of you picking at your ass?

anyone?

just me then.

earning my keep

2006-01-05T00:45:00.000-05:00

tonight I:

1. cut Kevin's hair.

2. made a button link for knitgeeks:

it's on my sidebar. anyone who would like to steal it, PLEASE right click, save, and host it on your own hosting service. thank you!

3. redesigned aforementioned knitgeeks. hope the other girls don't mind! the mind numbingly white template was bugging me.

now I should really get to bed.

captain hornypants

2006-01-04T00:08:00.000-05:00

(good band name)

announcement: the "sleep in separate beds" rule has been lifted at ESC's childhood home. My mother made it sound like this WHOLE TIME we could have been sleeping together, just not the first time he came up with me. And as long as I felt comfortable with it, they were OK with it.

uh huh.

Of coure, we couldn't both sleep in the twin bed in my old room, so we did the full sized bed in the "guest" room (formerly my brother's room). Which was still cramped, and had an uncomfortable mattress.

So pretty much no lovin', except for one night on the living room floor after my parents had gone to bed.

So what happens after a week of repression and exhaustion from sleeping together in an uncomfortable bed and the endless parade of family and friend based activities that are thrust upon us over the holidays???

I'm still exhausted. But in a good way. Good lord, we need to visit my family more often, if THIS is the result.

*******************

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannd...any desire I had tonight was just KILLED by a commerical for this.

shitfuck

2006-01-03T16:54:00.000-05:00

Dammit.

Latest results aren't at all what we thought they might be. Which could be fine, as it means I won't have any more experiments to do and can just WRITE THIS SHIT UP ALREADY! Christ, this is MY OLD PROJECT! I REALLY didn't want to have to do any more experiments on it.

On the other hand...this experiment was to see if there was something more interesting in my previous results than we thought. Something no one's ever seen before. And if it were true, would really shake up the field a bit. It would mean more work for me...but...would have been... so cool...

So this is good and bad. The lazy fuck in me is happy. The evil scientist in me is pissed.

The kid side of me enjoys the sugar frosting!

I'm leaving and going to work out now.

overheard on american chopper:

2006-01-03T00:57:00.000-05:00

Why don't you go get yourself a cup of GO FUCK YOURSELF!

BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!

I am SO using that in conversation this week!

$16.66 worth of fun per day

2006-01-02T19:59:00.000-05:00

Cost of Call of Duty 2, a christmas present for Kev: $50

Days it took for him to finish the WHOLE GAME: 3

*sigh*

at least he hasn't been able to use his red dot scope yet.

It's thundering.

2006-01-02T17:13:00.000-05:00

AGAIN.

in january.

nice.

new year's dinner!

2006-01-01T21:46:00.000-05:00

This year I decided to combine the best of both the north and south for a traditional new year's day dinner. This year it was just us - usually we have people over for dinner - AND as an added bonus, Kev wasn't sick - he was sick as a dog last year.

Here's dinner. Clicky and check the notes for menu. Not pictured was the huge grilled caesar salad we had first.

oh, and do you like the new template? the monster in the header is the wedding organizer Jamie got me. It's a wonderful gift...but overwhelming! so many lists! and things to do!

I needed more time with my MOMMY TO HELP ME WITH ALL THIS!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

2006-01-01T01:28:00.000-05:00

We're back!

I haven't posted because...well...we've spent a lot of time in bed since we got back. Occasionally, we even slept. BWAHA! Also spent a good portion of today food shopping, as the pantry was BARE! Also, the fridge.

The drive back was long and uneventful. The most entertaining bit being the evangelical wendy's where we had lunch:

what do you want, a medal?

It wasn't our first choice to eat, but every place we tried before this was CRAMMED FULL OF PUNK ASS ANNOYING WVU STUDENTS. BUSLOADS OF THEM!!!

Dammit. They caused traffic jams, too. I swear to god, we were stuck for a half hour in creeping traffic just outside of atlanta. The cause? An accident? Road construction? Bridge collapse?

no.

As near as we can figure, everyone was slowing down to stare at the rush hour traffic building up in the northbound direction. yes, staring at traffic was causing traffic. as soon as we passed that little section where you could clearly see the build up on the other side...our side opened up.

morons.

"well GOOLLLLLY, JETHRO! CHECK OUT DAT DER TRAAFFFFICKY JAM OVER DERE!"

so GO HOME PUNK ASS WVU STUDENTS!!!

(for those not aware, WVU is playing Georgia in the sugar bowl, which is being held in atlanta this year)

*ahem*

So yeah, it was a little stressful.

Today we went food shopping. And then out for a FABULOUS fancy dinner at Zuma. We'd never been there before, and it was a BITCH finding it. But SO WORTH IT! So much sushi! The best sushi we'd ever had. And we chatted a bit with the couple next to us, who's food ordering put ours to shame. We ordered a variety of specialty maki rolls and some fried japanese dumplings. The couple next to us was much more exotic - fried octopus balls (yeah, say THAT without giggling. it was a source of amusement for the 4 of us), some kind of hawaiian tuna paste, and so many other good things. MUST go back and try them again. Also, they didn't charge us for the glass of wine I had! It might have been a mistake...but it might have just been a nice new year's eve gesture! Who cares!

Then of course, back home, to watch a slurry Dick Clark ring in the new year. And toast to a happy year together.

Later I'll post more about christmas. For now, I'll leave you with a kiss for new year's eve:

***UPDATE***

ESC's "screw you, martha" homemaking tips:

leftover champagne, properly stored and carbonation intact via a "wine pump" thingy, makes excellent mimosas the next morning.

it's a FABULOUS thing.

BAAAWWWWGGGGGG PEOPLE, BAAAWWWWGGGGGG PEOPLE!

2005-12-28T00:37:00.000-05:00

Still enjoying a nice, relaxing christmas. Today Kev and I went with my parents to the Carnegie Museum to see the Bog people exhibit.

yep. Bog people. People and things thrown into bogs in Europe and preserved for a few thousand years. To be honest, the exhibit was a little heavy on the "things" and too light on the "people" found in bogs, but...there ya go. It was still a neat exhibit, and at the end of it, they had an interactive thing called "BSI - Bog Scene Investigations," where you picked a color clipboard, and then went to different stations consisting of replicas of bones, artifacts, etc, and tried to determine things like the sex, age, occupation, manner of death, of your particular "victim." Kev and I did pretty good - got all but 2 questions right.

Mom had to work at 4:30, so dad, kev, and I hung out at home...and watched "XXX" - the second one, with...Ice Cube? Ice somebody.

When mom got home, we left dad - who wasn't feeling all that well - and went to Quaker Steak and Lube for a late dinner. Unfortunately, so did every other college age boy in the south hills, as Tuesdays are "all you can eat wings" nights. Yeah, lots of punk ass kids there. But we got seated pretty quickly. BUT...THEY WERE OUT OF ONION RINGS!!! Dammit.

I got the PA garlic wings - very tasty! Kev had "suicidal," which he says were hot, but not THAT hot. He asked the waiter if he could try just one wing of the "atomic." The atomic wings have 150,000 scoville units of heat, and when you order them you have to sign a waiver. Nice! Kev got to try just one, though. I took a tiny dab of the sauce on my finger and touched my tongue.

Hmmm...smokey....kind of sweet....some heat....more heat....ummm...burn...BURN!!! BURN!!! ACK!

tomorrow we're on our own until my mom gets home from work mid afternoon. Then we're meeting some family for dinner - MORE FOOD! God, my diet is SO shot. We also have to get to the mall at some point to make a few exchanges. My grandmother bought me a black turtle neck. ANOTHER black turtleneck. And Kev's fleece vest is about 2 sizes too huge.

sooo...that's the trip so far. We'll probably be heading back to GA on friday.
Kev says it's the hottest thing he's ever eaten. Sweat was beading all over his face and foreheat. And that was just one wing! He's debating whether or not to go back and buy the sauce - it comes in a prescription bottle.

make that CHEESEY crab dip!

2005-12-26T15:06:00.000-05:00

Christmas eve:

sleep in
crab dip
seafood dinner
Narnia*
crab dip
church
crab dip

*wherein we learn that all British people, even small children are born with innate skills in handling achaic weaponry and talents in leading armies into battle and winning said battle. Well done, British people!

Christmas

wake up my brother
wake him up again
is my brother up yet?
open presents
very late breakfast
crab dip
open stockings
visit grandpa
pick up grandma
presents
crab dip
dinner (ham!)
dessert (cannolis!)
Polar Express
take grandma home
crab dip

Hope you all had a merry christmas and all the crab dip you could eat!

ESC has a classy family

2005-12-24T13:56:00.000-05:00

talking with my parents about the son of my father's cousin (my....3rd cousin?)

Mom: well, all while he was growing up, if you talked to his mother, she ALWAYS said he was going to be a doctor. Oh yes...a DOCTOR.

us: *laugh*

Mom: then he was going into mortuary science. we even ran into them in Oakland once, looking at the mortuary school there.

me: that ever happen?

Mom: no.

me: so what's he doing now?

Mom: he's a bouncer at a strip club.

me: ...!

Dad: when he needs a date for a family function, I think he just brings one of the girls from the club.

**********************
on the phone with my brother

bro: what are you getting grandpa?

me: I'm making him a fleece blanket.

bro: wow. that's a REALLY good idea.......fuck you!

OK...

2005-12-22T22:11:00.000-05:00

yeah, that last post was lame. But I like that song and wanted an excuse to put it on here.

Packing is almost done. We want to load everything possible in the car tonight. Kev is...playing his computer game. And I am blogging. Productivity! w00t!

I'm going to throw out a plug for the knitting blog that a few of us started. Aimee, Julie, and I realized that most of you probably don't give two shits about our knitting trials and tribulations. So we started our own knitting blog - KnitGeeks. Not a whole lot on there yet, but you can go and see the scarf I made my dad for christmas.

When I have time, I'm going to design a button link for my toolbar. And attempt a fancy template for us, too. GEEK! WHO KNITS! hence the name!

lessee....what else...

*********************
cookie fairy

I took cookies into the lab today - the little bags filled with goodies, and a whole tray for boss lady advisor. Everyone was thrilled! Boss lady seemed a bit overwhelmed. I have ALOT of cookies, so I really loaded everyone up.

I was only in today for a few hours, and then left after lunch to come home and start cleaning. there are few things more depressing that coming home from vacation to a messy house. Well...at least it's LESS messy.

***********************
fitness milestone achieved

Kev and I got a last session of hot monkey lovin' before we get to pittsburgh and will have to be sneaky and quiet. Anyway, at one point Kev pushed back on one of my legs, and managed to get it ALMOST to the headboard - just another inch and I would have made it. Flexability is fun! AND OH THE POSSIBILITIES!

************************
holiday blogging

will happen. My parents have a decent computer and broadband, so I will be around. Also on Yahoo IM.

Kev and I are leaving at the butt crack of dawn tomorrow in order to get to pittsburgh by dinner time. It's a 12 hour trip, including stops, and excluding traffic or funky weather. So far so good on the weather front - sunny and in the 40's through WV and PA.

Already picked up plenty of drinks and snacks for the trip - because if you are drinking and/or eating, you are not falling asleep at the wheel. I always pack snacks for long trips.

We've got:

little bottles of apple juice and quaker breakfast bars for breakfast
A & W root beer (I swear to GOD, if someone says something like "you shouldn't drink A & W because they are evil because they support the religious right/killing babies/NOT killing babies/war in Iraq/Dick Cheney's ass lift surgery" I'm going to COME THROUGH THIS SCREEN AND CHOKE YOU TO DEATH!!!)

ahem...where was I?

Diet pepsi
water
2 kinds of pringles (white chedder and ranch)
ghardetti's snack mix
twizzlers

a nicely rounded travel diet, right?

Safe travels everyone! Unless you're staying where you are, in which case SCREW YOU!

update: Sadie had been snoozing in her crate, and completely missed the whole "drag the suitcases out of the closet" and packing clothes session. However, she did see me grab her travel bag and start filling up her travel food container. Now she knows we're going somewhere. BUT NOT NOW!!! Stupid dog. Now she's running around all hyper, tail wagging, eyes wide. "going on trip? now? NOW? TRIP? NOW??? FOOOOD??? GOING NOW??"

SETTLE YOUR ASS, DOG!!!

tis the season for work satisfaction

2005-12-22T17:34:00.000-05:00

clicky here for music

I know that the NYC transit workers are going back to work, but I thought I'd remind everyone that they aren't the ONLY ones who are unsatisfied with their work this time of year.

Elf's lament

I'm a man of reason, and they say "'tis the season to be jolly"
But it's folly when you volley for position

Never in existence has there been such a resistance
To ideas meant to free us
If you could see us, then you'd listen

Toiling through the ages, making toys on garnished wages
There's no union
We're only through when we outdo the competition

I make toys, but I've got aspirations
Make some noise
Use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
There's a list for who's been
Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf

A full indentured servitude can reflect on one's attitude
But that silly red hat just makes the fat man look outrageous

Absurd though it may seem, you know, I've heard there's even been illegal doping
And though we're coping, I just hope it's not contagious

You try to start a movement, and you think you see improvement
But when thrown into the moment, we just don't seem so courageous

I make toys, but I've got aspirations
Make some noise
Use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
There's a list for who's been
Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf

You look at yourself
You're an elf
And the shelf is just filled with disappointing memories
Trends come and go, and your friends wanna know why you aren't just happy making
Crappy little gizmos
Every kid knows they'll just throw this stuff away

We're used to repetition, so we drew up a petition
We, the undersigned, feel undermined
Let's redefine "employment"

We know that we've got leverage, so we'll hand the fat man a beverage
And sit back while we attack the utter lack of our enjoyment

It may be tough to swallow, but our threats are far from hollow
He may thunder, but if he blunders, he may wonder where the toys went

I make toys, but I've got aspirations
Make some noise
Use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
There's a list for who's been
Naughty or nice, but consider the price
Naughty or nice, but consider the price
Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf.

progress!!!

2005-12-22T01:32:00.000-05:00

wrapped all gifts but one - my father's. His scarf is drying, pinned down to remove the annoying curl.

"and presents under...the treeeeee" Clicky to see what they are.

Dad's scarf, blocking.

All baking is finished. I even finally finished the truffles - scraped the refrigerated ganache and rolled it into balls, then roll into cocoa powder. Mmmmm...so good! So I was able to make the treat bags for my lab mates, and a cookie tray for my advisor.

Got all my cards made out and stamped! Everyone will get them late! But that's not the point!

they!

are!

done!

My place is a DISASTER area. I am not packed. But that can be done tomorrow, without worrying about the 30 other things I had to finish.

Also, the cranberry vodka is DONE! It was fun to make, and I think I explained it in a previous post, so go there if you're interested.

temporary lack of blogging time

2005-12-20T23:24:00.000-05:00

Really, I am too busy to blog. WAY to busy.

yep.

shouldn't be blogging.

at all.

nope.

also, while I have a few ideas rattling around up there ("conversations with Jeeeeesus about the war on christmas," "our post-docs bizzare party experience," "more damn pictures of stuff I'm knitting and baking," etc, etc), none of them want to come out of my fingers, on to the keyboard, to make a coherent post. But then again, when have my posts ever been coherent? Never stops you people!

blowjobs!

buttsecks!

see? you people will read anything.

anyway, I really am swamped. I'm struggling to finish two scarves and do some last minute baking. and I have mentioned the christmas cards? NOT A ONE FINISHED! Nothing is mailed yet. I am such a slacker. And instead of attending to those things...I am blogging. Well, I do have white chocolate cherry cookie bars in the oven...so I am doing SOMETHING useful.

Last night I intended to be useful, but instead Kev decided that a MUCH better use of my time was to get a thoroughly intense session of hot monkey sex.

on the couch.

So think of THAT if any of you visit me and sit on my couch.

And the person I bought the couch from occasionally reads this blog. And has sat on it since I took ownershipt of it. heheheheheheheeee!

I got off topic.

What was my topic? Oh yeah, how I am too busy to blog.

Yep.

another post consisting of mostly pictures....

2005-12-19T13:59:00.000-05:00

...in leiu of actual "content."

So I did not spend the entire weekend staring at my ring, mesmirized. I wanted to, though.

oooooo...prettttyyyyy...riiiiiing......

I did much running around and getting things done that were not so important, considering Christmas is HOLY SHIT...IN 6 DAYS!

I am so not ready.

So here are some pics of things I did.

make macaroons!

Macaroons use a lot of egg whites, so I needed something to do with the massive amount of egg yolks left over. So I made an egg yolk sponge cake, which I do not have a picture of, but it IS delicious, and is currently being enjoyed by the members of my lab, because I am nice like that.

Opening gifts!

Any gift that comes to me before christmas is fair game. I LIKE PRESENTS! First, my aunt sent a gift certificate for Amazon.com, AND a cute little gift for Sadie:

You remember that scene from "A Christmas Story" where Ralphie has to go try on the bunny pj's his Aunt Clara made for him? And he walks down the steps looking like an Easter nightmare, with the most miserable, depressed look on his face? A face that said "this is SO HUMILIATING! PLEASE OH PLEASE LET ME TAKE THIS OFF!"

Yeah, that's how Sadie looked the whole time she had it on. Poor Sadie. Thank God pets can't come back years from now and accuse us of ruining their lives by inflicting psychological damage, causing them to wear all black, write bad poetry, and vote Green party well past the age when it's cool to do all that.

bwaha!

We also got presents from...JAMIE!

Hey, how did she know Kev was clueless?

The planner looks like it will come in VERY handy. Though it is scaring the crap out of me. SO MUCH TO DO! SO MANY CHECKLISTS!!!

My favorite is the checklist to give the photographer, which has requests for specific photographs in it. Like "bride and father getting into limo." But the BEST pic request it lists is "Groom and best man, with groom looking at watch."

what?

So yeah, that was my weekend. Throw in a few hours in the lab both days, a quick run to Walgreens, some light knitting (not enough! ack!) and...naps. And the depressing feeling that I might be coming down with a cold. CRAP!

christmas party RULES!

2005-12-17T00:23:00.000-05:00

Yeah it was fun!

Way too much food. And some "holiday cheer" in a bottle...brought by me. I made some cranberry vodka, most of which I'm taking home for celebrating with my family, but I brought a sample big enough for everyone to share.

mmm...dangerously good...

the gifts were HYSTERICAL! and of COURSE I have pictures.

this is one of the gifts we brought. CLASSY!!!

I ended up with this plastic green piggy bank. AWESOME! I'm going to keep it at work and put quarters for my coffee in it.

Kev ended up with a horrible monstrosity of a tree ornament (we think). As best anyone could figure, it's SUPPOSED to be an eggplant/baby hybrid. But it is unbelievably awful and scary looking.

Amazingly, I don't have a picture. maybe later.

And...that's about it! Everyone had fun, especially the kids. There were no tears, even when the "stealing" part of the white elephant exchange took place. The veggie dish I brought was a huge hit - might be because it had a generous amount of melty bleu cheese smothering the once healthy veggies.

Fun!

OH! yeah...and one more thing...
clicky!

and because Serra demanded...

cranberry vodka

1 lb fresh cranberries
1 c sugar

cook together in pot until cranberries pop and a lot of liquid forms. remove from heat and add

2tsp vanilla, or 1 split vanilla bean, if you have that kind of money to throw around.

pour into large glass jar, or two mason jars, or whatever - just make sure it has a tight lid, and then add

1 bottle decent vodka - not the cheapo crap you bought for $10 a gallon and mixed with a garbage can of grape kool-aid in college.

cover with lid and let sit on your kitchen counter for a week. admire the pretty color.

then serve with tonic and a twist of lime....mmmmmm....good!

sleeeeepy

2005-12-16T10:15:00.000-05:00

the only reason I am at work right now is that our lab's christmas party is tonight, and it will be kick-ass. I am SO FRIGGIN' TIRED!

And I left work EARLY yesterday! Not to goof around, though.

For the party, we always do a white elephant gift exchange. If you are not familiar with the concept, what we do it buy the funniest, tackiest, most horrifying gift we can find for $5 or less, wrap it up pretty, and put it under Boss lady's christmas tree. Then we all draw numbers from a hat, and starting with #1, pick presents. Then #2 can pick a wrapped present, or steal #1's gift, making THEM pick a new present.

It is hysterical. Especially with people's kids there. The kids LOVE this. I had to pick up two gifts, since Kev and I will both be participating. I think I might have outdone myself this year, and I should probably go apologize to boss lady in advance. You see, she has a daughter who, for some reason, always ends up with at least one of the gifts that we bring. Usually both, because one of her brothers will get the other one and just give it to her because SHE WANTS IT SOOO BADLY! It's like we are polar opposites on the horrifyingly tacky spectrum.

This year I got:

a stuffed monkey that wraps around your neck via velcro, and when you squeeze his paw, he wiggles and vibrates and makes monkey chatterning noises, all for just a bit longer than neccessary.

a...how do I describe this? You know one of those dressmakers's fitting dummies? OK, picture a tiny one...covered in black satiny fabric with pink polka dots and trimmed with fluffy pink feathers...oh, and it's a LAMP.

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

Love it.

So after finding THOSE gems and a quick stop at chick fil a (mmmm...chickin'), I went to my hair appointment. Remember, this was a new place for me, so NEVERWRACKING! It did seem like one of those places I wasn't quite cool enough to be in, but everyone was really nice. The guy that cut my hair was WONDERFUL, and very funny. He did a great job, too! Maybe I'll post pics later - I need to redo my dye job, too. and you know how sometimes in a nice salon, someone will come around and offer you some water, green tea, etc? Well, in the middle of my appointment, a woman came around and offered me...a COSMIPOLITAN.

awesome. I was tipsy for the next hour. Nothing like a drunken haircut!

Then down the road to my Local Yarn Store (or LYS, for those in the "know") for the monthly Stitch and Bitch. Fun! Got a lot accomplished, including starting and ALMOST finishing a gift for little Lyric, aka "fuzzbeast."

Then to Kroger to pick up some fresh herbs and then HOME, just before 10pm, so I can make the veggie dish (with fresh herbs) that I'm bringing to the party tonight.

So...I got to be last night around 2am.

zzzzzz....huh? wha?

Fortunately, I don't have much to do today. Boss lady is at home, preparing her house for the party, so I can goof around a bit...(hehehe.. A BIT, like I don't do that on days when she IS here).

Sold!

2005-12-15T15:37:00.000-05:00

I love the smell of transaction in the afternoon. I just sold two sets of stitch markers to MoeThatsMe. Everyone go over there and thank her for supporting my addictive yarn habit. mmmmm...yaaaaarn. You are all jealous, and now want a set. But for the time being TOO BAD...I won't have time before the new year. I also have fabric to make at least 4 more knitting needle cases, which will also be on hold until next year.

Busy day ahead now. I'm skipping out early...EARLY! Like say...20 minutes, to buy two goof gifts for the white elephant gift exchange at our lab party tomorrow night, then get my hair cut (trying a new place...WISH ME LUCK), then go to the monthly stitch and bitch where I will eat junk food for dinner and work on my father's scarf*, and on my way home from that, pick up fresh rosemary and thyme, so that when I get home, I can make the butternut squash and apple gallette that I'm bringing the the aforementioned party tomorrow.

whew!

And wow, the cut/uncut discussion really got interesting in the comments of the previous post. Feel free to continue to wax poetic about your preferences for male fleshy coverings - it's just way too entertaining to read.

and whoa...I am almost at 50,000 hits. Nice. I have no idea what I should do when it happens...some nice way to reward my wonderful readers...hmmm...any ideas?

Of course, who I REALLY should be rewarding is Erosblog. Guess which day my site was mentioned AGAIN there?

crock pot delight

2005-12-14T00:19:00.000-05:00

I should post this on my recipe site, but I'm too lazy to try to figure out amounts. This morning, I mixed chicken broth, soy sauce, lime and orange juices, ketchup, garlic, ginger, and brown sugar, and poured it all over chicken legs in the crock pot and let it cook all day.

OH MY GOD! The chicken pretty much fell off the bones when we tried to tong it out of the pot, but served over rice with a side of snow peas...mmmm...so good!

***********************
blogger bitching

why has blogger taken away the timestamp editor? I NEED TO BE ABLE TO CHANGE THE DATES ON MY POSTS! It's how I organize my recipe site. DAMMIT! so STUPID! WHY DID THEY DO THIS????

***********************
please go away forever

Why is Howard Stern still relevant? Seriously, I don't understand his popularity. HE INTERVIEWS STRIPPERS AND PORN STARS...EVERY DAY. While this may make him some kind of hero to guys, please, everyone, stop acting like he is at all socially relevant. He is NOT.

***********************
say this over and over again all day, for fun!

Artificial!

Retractable!

Foreskin! (probably not safe for work)

and....THERE IS A VERY INFORMATIVE VIDEO!!!

Kev told me that I did not NEED to watch an informative video on the foreskin...I am HOME SCHOOLED!

another favorite (yet unrelated) Kevinism- "Emeril could probably squat on top of the counter and take a shit, and those people will STILL scream and applaud like crazy"

**********************************
email correspondance...or "what I do instead of work"

from Kev: VEGETARIAN - Ancient Indian word meaning "poor hunter".

with Julie:

me - the myserious bump on my neck was NOT, in fact, polio. It was an ingrown hair. which Kev popped and dug out for me. and THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is TRUE LOVE.

Julie - But would he have popped it and dug it out for you if it were on your ASS? I think THAT is true love. ;)

Me - uummmm...yeah. we've both done that for each other.

wove....TWWOOOO wove...

Julie - Leads to Mawwiage. ;)

Me - Mawwiage is what bwings us hew today

a must-read

2005-12-13T10:54:00.000-05:00

Everyone stop what they are doing and read this.

Now.

It's an article about teaching evolution for anyone, no matter WHAT your background. And how to remove the "threat" aspect of it that so many people feel is there.

But this is at the college level. We need to do this for kids. For middle school and high school kids. So they know that science is NO THREAT to their beliefs! It's just a way of understanding the world!

So go read now.

Please?

cookies part deux

2005-12-12T22:35:00.000-05:00

another day, another big batch of cookies. I looooooooove the neiman marcus urban legend cookies. Surely you got that email 8 years ago. you know the one, with the man/woman who ate a meal at neiman marcus department store, and loved the cookies so much that he/she asked for the recipe, and was told by the waitress that it would cost "two fifty." then the protagonist ended up with a $250 addition to their check instead of the $2.50 they thought it would cost. to take revenge, they spread the recipe across the internets.

total bullshit. check it out here, if you want to read the history. although interestingly enough, the recipe that neiman marcus posts on its website to combat the urban legend is NOT the recipe that got emailed to everyone and their sister. I make THAT recipe. Which is a HUGE recipe. and I make one and a half times the recipe to give me an uber-big batch. How many cookies is that??

about 6 1/2 dozen. Ummm...minus 2. for...uh..."testing" purposes. yeah. for SCIENCE.

here's a close up, for Yoli.

know what I hate worse than ants??

2005-12-12T14:10:00.000-05:00

mondays. bleah.

*************
sweet Jane St. Clair

We have a grad student doing a rotation in our lab who's very sweet, and her name is Jane. Now I can't get that damned song out of my head every time I say her name.

Jaaaaaaaaaaaaane, divided, but I can't decide what side I'm on
Jaaaaaaaaaaaaane decided only cowards stay, while traitors run

************
hypochondriac alert

I have a painful small bump on the back left side of my neck. I can't see it in a mirror, and I'm not desperate enough to have someone in the lab check it out for me. It's most likely a zit, but because it's monday and I hate it here right now, I'm going to tell myself it's malignant cancer which has already spread all over my body, with no cure.

Or it's polio. mmmm...sweet polio.

Hey ESC, that's not funny, my MOM has polio.

Your mom IS polio. Shut up.

*****************
lab bitch

I hate to be the lab bitch, but seriously...

Last week, someone noticed that our broken glass disposal box was gone. Everyone was amazed...who would steal it? It was almost full, anyway!

The thing is, these are just disposable cardboard boxes. when they are full of broken glass, you seal them up and take them down to the facility that disposes of broken glass. We have a STACK of extra boxes that you just fold together to make a NEW broken glass disposal box.

But for a WEEK, while everyone discussed the fact that it got stolen, NO ONE GOT OUT AND PUT TOGETHER A NEW DAMN BOX!

Guess who had to do it?

yeah, that's right. Jane found some broken tubes and needed a place to put them. Since she is a newbie, it fell to ME TO DO IT!

dammit. Those things are a pain to wrestle with.

Sweet Sunday

2005-12-11T20:36:00.000-05:00

Woke up early this morning to get to church before the choir all had to be there, so I could warm up on my trombone. Amazingly, I had some extra time to have some breakfast before I left, so I decided to pour myself a bowl of...

ANTS!!!!!

Fuck. Spent my extra time throwing away TWO newly opened boxes of cereal, removing everything off the top of the fridge, cleaning, and then spraying with a good dose of roach and ant spray.

"NEAR FOOD, ESC??? are you trying to KILL someone????"

I weigh my options. Food with ants all in it? Or the bottoms of boxes of cereal and...instant potatoes (shut UP, they're good) maybe touching some poison residue.

I risk it. I fucking HATE ants. I haven't died yet!

Anyway...no breakfast for me. I do get to church in time to warm up a bit, though.
God, my chops are so out of shape! The music service went VERY well, though, in spite of a panicked moment when, during the processional, the men waited TWO measures to start their verse instead of one...ACK! SING DAMMIT!

And my trombone part went well, too! It's interesting to play while people are singing. The choir has a tendencey to drag the beat, which is frustrating sometimes.

Afterwards to the lab for a couple of hours, and THEN, while I had HOPED to get home to make cookies...noooooo...I had to go out and buy more cereal AND buy some of those plastic cereal containers to keep the ants out. I decided to try my luck with Target.

While I found some things to aid in my cookie making (cooling racks - stackable! and a cookie dough scoop - how have I lived without this???), I couldn't find any of those containers. I walked through the whole store three times, mentall crying "DON'T MAKE ME GO TO HELL-MART!!!"

I had to go to hell mart.

But I found what I needed quickly, and got OUT of there, avoiding screaming kids and herds of women standing in the middle and blocking the aisle, having arguments in another language about...dish soap, apparently.

GET OUT OF MY WAY, PEOPLES!

By the time I got home, I was exhausted. Kev went to church with me to hear me sing (isn't he sweet?) and then went to a gun show (shut UP!). we got home around the same time, and fell asleep on either end of the couch together, our legs tangled up and keeping each other warm.

awwwww....

Then I woke up and made some cookies! Only one kind today - ricotta cookies.

chocolate saturday

2005-12-10T20:10:00.000-05:00

Busy busy busy busy day.

10am - dress rehearsal for our choir service of music. still putting my trombone skills to good use - I haven't embarassed myself, at least.

12:15pm - on a tip from a woman at curves, I find a store called Amtrec. It's a warehouse - you know all those catalogs that little kids get at school to sell christmas stuff and raise money? Well, whatever doesn't sell goes to this warehouse, and they sell it for dirt cheap. Most of the stuff is crap, but I bought a bunch of really nice wrapping paper (12 rolls!), ribbons, bows, and tissue paper, as well as some wooden christmas trays I can fill up with cookies and give as gifts. all for $25!

1:20pm - Farmer's Market! My biggest Atlanta weakness! I need ingredients to make this for the lab christmas party on friday. and also found a way to spend ALOT more money on...goodies. Challah bread, large red juicey grapefruits, terra chips, wine, fresh spinach tortellini, SO much other stuff, and a very large fillet of cod.

2:30pm - stop in at publix to buy baking supplies for candy and cookies. I have a BIG list this year - I give it all away to friends as gifts, and then take a big tray home to my family.

3:00pm - liquor store to buy a small bottle of chambord for my truffles, and a bottle of vodka for....me, I guess.

3:30pm - get home, unload groceries, unload and stack dishwasher. there is not enough room for all the dishes...oops! decide to relax for a bit and let the dishes wash, then I can unload them, put in more dishes, and clean up in preparation for chocolate making.

3:45pm - I'll just relax on the couch a bit, maybe watch some tv.

3:48pm - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

4:00pm - zzzzzzzzzzzzzz mmfmffff mmm? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

4:30pm - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz snk zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

4:45pm - zzzzzzzzzzz...huh?

5:00pm - start heating cream and melting chocolate for chocolate pretzel rods and truffles

chocolate pretzel rods, with chocolate jimmies and coconut. still awaiting a drizzle of white chocolate.

future truffles

6:30pm - make dinner! cut up, batter, and fry cod, roast some red potatoes, and make salad.

7:15pm - eat my fucking awesome dinner. holy crap, we're both stuffed. definately putting fried cod on my "hey, I can do this and I'll do it again!" list.

god I'm tired. even with my nap. Tomorrow I will start on the cookies. My cookie To Do list is:

1. those neiman marcus urban legend chocolate chip cookies
2. oatmeal cookies
3. white chocolate cherry cookies (or bars...I haven't decided yet)
4. ricotta cheese cookies

I wish I could make pizzelles, but my pizzelle maker is in storage.

tomorrow is church, work, and then COOKIE MAKING!