Wednesday, February 22, 2006

A post with no mention of poop of any color 

Conversations with Julie, or why you all deseperaly want to IM chat with us ALL THE TIME!

Julie: Lori and I went to a sex shop last night, and now they have a mini-butterfly! for use "while having sex"

ESC: oooooo

Julie: yeah.

ESC: did you get it???

Julie: damn thing was $50, so I didn't get it, but I did drop a hint to Rick.

Julie: Who will probably not pick up on said hint.

ESC: hehehehehehe...nice

ESC: I have the bigger one

ESC: it's not a butterfly though...

ESC: I think it's a hummingbird?

Julie: "the bigger one" sounds so dirty.

ESC: *evil laugh*

Julie: do the antennae vibrate?

ESC: it's supposed to strap on, but I've never figured out the straps

Julie: wait, hummingbirds don't have antennae.

ESC: beak

Julie: ahhhh.

Julie: the girl showing it to us was like "Here, feel it's antennae! They're the best part!"

ESC: I think it's more designed for women who are built a little more....external than I am

ESC: antennae are probably nicer than a beak!

Julie: peck peck peck.

ESC : youch

Julie: obviously, you need a rabbit.

ESC: I HAVE a rabbit - did you not see my post?

Julie: that was the other thing she showed us. "Everyone comes in for the Rabbit or the Butterfly"

Julie: but it didn't look like the one she showed me last night.

ESC: it's a vibrator with a little clit buzzer thingie

ESC : right?

Julie: yeah, but the one she showed us last night had more pearls inside.

Julie: can yours switch directions?

ESC: yup

Julie: niiiice

ESC: the rabbit ears are too pointy, though

Julie: how scary looking is this:

Julie: and just what we all need, a LIGHT UP DILDO:

ESC: yikes!

ESC: this is what has been recommended to me

ESC: but yikes, it's expensive

Julie: that thing scares me.

Julie: it looks too hard.

Julie: and "golden spoon" attachment is just gnasty

ESC: there are different attachments

ESC: padded ones are supposed to be more gentle

ESC: I don't think this is they kind of toy you want to go butter churning with

Julie : EXACTLY.

Julie: this is not a toy for thrusting, boys and girls.

ESC: no, it's for gentle stimulation until you hover up to the ceiling and then go shooting across the room

Julie: dude, check this one out:

ESC: looks like it has an electric toothbrush attachment

Julie: which stretches up to a foot away.

Julie: in case you don't want full contact sex.


Julie: "okay, it's mutual masturbation time, but you stay OVER THERE."

ESC: and this is multitasking gone TOO FAR!

Julie: "also fills in nicely as a spanking toy" Uh huh.

Julie: guess you can get it through airport security no questions asked, tho.

ESC: some of these are just too weird

Julie: lol. Rick is always saying that he hopes my cell is on vibrate when he calls

ESC: beam me up, scotty....harder....HARDER! HAAARRRDERRRR!!!!

ESC: I like the name of this one: here's to you, Mrs Robinson INDEED!

Julie: what the hell is an N size battery?

ESC: I have NO idea

Julie: crazy. special batteries for sex toys.

ESC: walk into wal-mart and ask for THAT!

ESC: here are some toys that look like fallopian tubes

Julie: because *that's* sexy

ESC: it's sexucational!