Saturday, December 03, 2005

everything will be alright... 

...when we go shopping!

(bonus points for whoever knows the reference)

But before I get to the shopping orgy and knitting pics...A FUNNY STORY!

yesterday Kev helped out some friends of mine who are renting out their condo until they can sell it. The faucet in the condo was leaking, and Kev is MUCH cheaper than a plumber. So he went to fix it (an easy fix, he said) and while he was there, struck up a friendly conversation with the guy cleaning the carpets in the building's hallways. the conversation turned towards Home Depots, and some funny...weirdo things that they've heard happened in Home Depot bathrooms (ummm...what? oookaayy). And apparently, the guy got an entirely wrong vibe off Kev... and...

offered to give him a blowjob.


OK, so maybe you have to have met Kev, but OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT IS HYSTERICAL!

Kev handled it well, politely declining and getting the hell out of there. And the carpet guy got off lucky - how many men can proposition a good ole' southern boy and get away without a black eye?? Fortunately, Kev is very secure in his manly straightness, and enjoys proving it often ;)

update: So Kev wanted me to add some more to the story. how it all started was that Kev asked carpet cleaner guy where the ace hardware was.

The guy said "oh, yeah, where all the dykes work."

OK...so then Kev said yeah, he didn't want to have to drive all the way back to home depot. The guy said "that's where all the gays work." and then called it "homo depot." and then "they all go to the bathroom and 'toe-tap' each other." (as far as we can figure out "toe-tapping" means blowjobs?)

THEN the guy said "I wouldn't go work there and do that, I'd rather give a PLUMBER a blow job." then he gave kev a VERY meaningful look.

OK...funny story over. on with the pics! First some knitting stuff and then to the shopping. As usual, the clicking makes them bigger and nicer. Oh yes, yessssss...click them HARD! CLICK THEM HARD! HAARRRDDDEERRRRRRR!!!!


recent yarn acquisitions

iceland yarn - fire
very soft wool, which will be a little surprise for Fuzzball, aka Lyric.

bamboo yarn!

yarn made from bamboo! which will be a scarf for my sensitive-skinned father.

sari yarn
sari yarn - my birthday splurge! can't decide whether to make a purse or shrug with it. I only bought one hank because it was $20 for only 80yds!

finished projects

scarf for my brother...
silk/alpaca black moss stitch scarf for my brother, lovingly modelled by Kev. I kept it sort of short to make it more of a manly scarf. On size 5s, so it took a REALLY LONG TIME! I have exra yarn fragments if anyone wants to make a black fringe. I kept the sizes equal by wrapping the yarn around my Katamari Damacy game box and cutting one end. clever, no?

novelty fur scarf
Scarf for my brother's girlfriend. I've met her once, but I know she likes purple. However...I didn't want to go overboard on a gift for her. Does that make me a bad person? Watch her be a knitter and figure out that I used cheap novelty yarn on this. I used a faux-furry-feather yarn that I twisted with a yarn that is like a ladder - with little bits of shiny ribbon as the "rungs". Done on size 15s, so it took me two days.

shopping shopping shopping!!!!

I got $$$ for my birthday to buy a new winter coat and and whatever other little goodies caught my eye. I did find a nice winter coat...paid a little more than my mom sent me for it, but...

new winter coat and chullo hat
How cute is my coat? and that's my finished chullo hat. Don't they go nicely together? I have yarn to make a matching scarf...whenever I have the time! The coat is suede...so I have to spray it every once in a while. But it's lined with warm fuzzy faux-fur...which has shed all over my black turtle neck. WHOOPS! I would have preferred a darker brown...maybe I'll look online and see if I find something I like better. I do really like this coat, though. So waaarm.

So I also wanted to buy a purse...but my dilemma was...do I buy something matching my coat??? Or contrasting?? I don't know...I worry about stupid things.

I went with matching.

new purse
what do you think, too much?

I also picked up some things at a new kitchen gadget/wine store than opened in Decatur. DANGEROUS FOR MEEE! I love those kinds of stores. It's called Cook's Wearhouse. I went with an all silicone purchase. No, nothing for the boobs. I got another sil-pat, so now I have two, and can have two alternating pans of christmas cookies going all the time when I start baking. Also got one of those silicone oven mits. Rubbery! Extravagent...but it's birthday money! I had to pull myself away from buying some silicone bakewear. Maybe I can register for it...someday....

Kev bought some christmas presents for my parents of the wine variety. Some madeira wine for my dad (when we were in pittsburgh and niagara in July, my dad looked for it everywhere but couldn't find it. Hopefully he hasn't yet) and a nice sweet riesling for my mom. Merry Christmas indeed!

So now I'm sprawled out on the couch. We ate too much at Ruby Tuesdays (bison burgers...mmmm...). What I SHOULD be doing is straightening up in preparation for putting up christmas decorations.

Or I can just lie here...ahhhhh....

No cleaning or decorating got done tonight. I started knitting my father's scarf. Sad to report that after a few rows, it became painfully obvious that while bamboo yarn is very pretty, it does NOT make a good scarf. The yarn is smooth, but not so soft that you'd want it wrapped around your face. It would make an excellent tank top, so maybe I'll use it for that someday. I do have...500 YARDS of it!

This of course left me scrambling for something for my father. I decided to take a gamble and use some of the REALLY SOFT yet animal derived yarn I had laying around: some turquoise super merino, the left over alpaca/silk from my brother's scarf, and some muted red alpaca/merino/silk blend I bought for a project that I changed my mind on. So it will be a turquoise scarf with stripes of black and red on the ends. I only have one ball of the turquoise...I hope I don't run out!!!!

new scarf for dad