Wednesday, July 13, 2005

an exercise in no self control...and fun with suppositories! 

Went in to Target for:

dental floss

aveeno shower oil

check out some shorts for Kev

Came out of Target with:

dental floss

aveeno shower oil

3 pak Herbal Mint toothpaste (buy 2 get 1 free)

Cover Girl Compact - "Clean" buff beige (on sale, $3)

2 4paks Target brand flavored water

2 4paks Target brand splenda sweetened fruity drinks

bag of Target brand garden veggie snack stix (tasty!)

refill bottle Method shower spray

1 kitkat - eaten in car (hey, I needed sugar! I was starving! dammit...I'm weak)

2 pair jerzees shorts for Kev, 1 navy, 1 dark grey ($5 each)

I am dangerous in Target.

It was too late to make dinner....I picked up chinese food. Mmmm....mongolian BEEEEF!

Injury list

Kev's knee started bothering him. Poor guy. and poor ME! No sweaty monkey lovin' with a bum knee. Unless...ugh...I'm too full of chinese food to be on top!

A friend of mine, who is not a blogger, but wishes to remain nameless (she gave me permission to blog this, as long as she is anonymous), has had some problems recently with...ready for this? Excellent band name coming up...

An anal skin tag.


Well, anyway, she's become inflamed and other grossness, ANGERING the skin tag...and the doctors don't know why. She's going in for a procedure I can't remember the name of soon...umm..like a colonoscopy, except they don't put you under, and they don't go as far in.

ANYWAY, the point of this is that they gave her a prescription for glycerin suppositories that will help "soothe" the area. While attempting to fill this prescription, she had what she describes as a "stereotypical first time buying condoms" experience.

She hands the script to the pharmacist, who examines it, and then LOUDLY calls over to the other pharmacist something like "HEY, THESE GLYCERIN SUPPOSITORIES AREN'T PRESCRIPTION, ARE THEY? WE'VE GOT THOSE IN THE AISLE, RIGHT?"


I've already told her my suppository experience. When I was getting sick because of gall stones, right before my surgery, I was given anti-nausea medication in the form of a suppository. Fortunately, I didn't have to use them THAT often...but when I did...the following mental conversation would take place:

OK...deep breath....I have already pooped...everything is cleared out...I'm ready....IN.

deep breath.

OK...not sooo bad...

I have to poop

no...no you don't...it's just the suppository

I have to poop

NO YOU DON'T! You just pooped. everything is fine

I really have to poop.

Now you just SETTLE DOWN, DOWN THERE, OK? No pooping! you have to let it dissolve!


alright then.

I have to poop.


Bonus: fun with living together - naked financial advice

Kev is explaining to me that he wants to open a Roth IRA for me this year. I am hanging up some laundry...naked, because in the middle of getting ready for bed, I realized I had clothes in the washer that were done (I do this all the time...stop in the middle of one task to complete another). Kev is naked too, because he's always naked as soon as he gets back from work. the man hates clothes.

Kev: i want to get this done this tax year...it's just such a good deal right now

Me: huh. I don't know anything about them

I'm standing right next to him...and without even thinking about it, I run my hands over my breasts, happy to be free of my bra.

Kev: well, you don't get a tax break but you don't pay taxes on the int...ummm....uhhhh.....dammit!

Me: what???

Kev: I can't explain this...you're giving me a hard on!

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! Oooooh...baby! look at me! look at me!!!

Kev: NOOO! hides in laundry room


Kev: from behind door: and you can take out I think up to $10,000 without penalty for downpayment on a home. Are you going to blog this?